Interesting e-mail
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I see fit.
Please note that Z Bone is not a doctor, lawyer, psychologist, CPA, or auto
mechanic and therefore all comments made by him are his own views and are to
be used "as is". What he says is only true if it's true for you. As always,
YMMV.
Recommendations?
Thu 12/20/01 3:21 PM
Q:
I am a respectable girl looking for a classy fun place to take my
boyfriend where I will feel comfortable and he can see some hot chicks.
Nothing super nasty. Ideally there would be other things to do like play
pool so the whole evening isn't about staring at the strippers. Preferably
in the West LA area. Do you have any recommendations for me?
Z:
Take a look at my FAQ at:
http://archive.zbone.me/zone/faqclub.htm#Wife
This has a list of upscale clubs for couples.
From that list, I think only Crazy Girls and maybe Fantasy Island has
pool tables (if I remember correctly from my last visit). Crazy Girls is
busier and more couple friendly. Fantasy Island is closer to you in West
LA but only busy on weekend nights (mostly). Neither place is nasty (other
than maybe the place not being super clean) and won't scare you.
If you just want to go to a super nice place (clean, new, upscale), try
Plan B. However, you're likely to be the only customers there and there is
no pool table. But the food is great. They are also in West LA.
If you think you can hang with a nude club, 4Play in West LA is my top
pick. Very classy, upscale and good looking dancers. But again, no pool
tables.
I think the only nude club with pool tables is Classic Lady of Oz in
the valley. I have not been there since the remodel but I hear it's pretty
nice. They also have a connected sports bar where you can get drinks and
decent food. I am not positive if they still have the pool tables so you
might want to call first.

Going Out
Thu 12/20/01 5:23 AM
Q:
If you're trying to get extras from a dancer, is it best to go out with
the dancer first to let her get to know you better outside of the club
(i.e. dinner, movie, etc.)or not?
Z:
Well, this depends on the girl. If she does not normally do extras, then
you have to do it the hard way by taking her out. This can end up being
100 times more expensive so watch out.
Q:
If not for extras, what other reasons would you have for meeting with a
dancer on the outside?
Z:
Well, you can be friends with her as long as she is paying for half or at
least some of the time. Why be friends? So that you can hang out with her
and her other dancer friends. This is the best way to hook up with dancers
because you are outside the club environment. Another good trick is to
have a dancer roommate who has her dancer friends come over.
Q:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?
Z:
Once you become a dancer's "friend", it's highly unlikely that you will
have sex with her.
Q:
If meeting with a dancer elsewhere, can you think of some activities
(beside the obvious) that they would find acceptable(out of the ordinary,
besides the 'Can I take you out' line that they hear all the time)?
Z:
I'm not sure I understand your question but some dancers have never been
on a "real" date so doing anything other than sex can be interesting for
them. Many dancers like to go clubbing, drink and do drugs. Or be
different and go bowling.

Dating at Work
Wed 12/5/01 4:56 AM
Q:
I wanted to know if its a good idea to date someone at work?
Z:
I assume you are talking about somebody that works there (e.g. manager,
DJ, etc). If you are just going to have casual sex, it's okay. However, if
you are going to have a serious relationship, it might not be a good idea
because if you end up breaking up, you still have to work together. Keep
that in mind before you get into something. If it's with somebody higher
(e.g. manager, owner), that's a good way to get fired.

How Far is Too Far?
Thu 11/29/01 2:47 PM
Q:
In my opinion, anything that happens inside of a club is fair game but
outside there has to be some limits. I paid for dinner and movies and
treated her like I would for any woman I was going out with and as far as
I know, she wasn't wearing her garter belt. You made the comment that
dancers were in a sense actresses, well I later found out that she studied
acting and had a role in an old B-movie years ago (she wasn't that good or
otherwise she would still be acting). In your opinion, how far should a
dancer go in order to string a customer along?
Z:
In my opinion, I agree with you that once you are outside the club, the
"work" should be over. However, unlike other jobs, this is one job where
it's sometimes hard for the dancer to figure out where the job ends.
I've had dancers confide in me about stringing customers along to the
point where basically they were being kept (rent, school, car) by multiple
customers who all thought they were helping a student get through college.
She went out with all of them outside the club and none of them knew about
each other. She was very clever. One of these customers had gotten his
money from an accident settlement and she eventually sucked his entire
settlement money (about $50k) out of him, then threw him away when he was
broke. No, not all dancers are this ruthless. Just a few. Be careful out
there. It's dog eat dog.

Falling
Tue 11/27/01 2:40 PM
Q:
I've been in his shoes before, falling for a dancer. Both she and I were
going through a rough time in our lives and we leaned on each other for
support. She was the one that wanted to get my number and call me and get
together with me for dinner and movies and I went along with it. I truly
thought she like me until she decided to stop dancing. She still worked at
the club as a waitress but completely ignored me, even so far as having
her boyfriend (whom she didn't tell me about) stop by and visit her. I was
crushed because my father was very sick and I confided to no one but her
about the pain I was going through but she didn't care. She only worked at
the club for a month before getting another job. My father died three
months later. She never even knew he passed away until a year later. I
learned my lesson but it still a pretty big lesson to learn.
Z:
As for your real-life events, I'm sorry to hear you had to go through what
you went through with this now retired dancer. You have to remember that
they are doing a job. Their job is to get paid to create a fantasy where
you think that they really like you. That's their job. If they are good
actresses and they do it well, you will be convinced.
From your short description of what occurred, I suspect that the dancer
wanted to end her "relationship" with you and she decided to do it in the
manner that she did. Either she thought that would be the easy way (easier
for her) or the only way. The fact that you did not let you know about her
boyfriend tells me that she was stringing you along to get money from you.
Most dancers think that if you know that they have a boyfriend, you will
stop giving them money.
If you want something more than that type of a relationship with a
dancer, the only way is to never give them one cent. Not one dime. If they
still treat you decently, then their actions are sincere. Don't get mixed
up between fantasy and reality. You don't go to a store and complain to
the manager that the salesman is treating you like a customer. That's why
you are in the store. When you buy a car from a dealer, you don't think
the salesman is your friend, do you? He might send you a Christmas card
but that doesn't mean he's your friend. He's just being nice to you to
sell you another car a few years later so he can get his commission.
That's all.
Hope that helps a little. I know you're in pain. Hope you feel better.

Gifts for the Dancer
Mon 11/26/01 3:03 PM
Q:
Is it okay to give a gift to a dancer? A dancer I'm familiar with is
graduating from school in December or January and will stop dancing soon.
I've known her for a while and I kinda want to buy her an appreciation
gift. I'm a little unsure if I should do this and if I do, what should I
get her? She and I are pretty close so I don't think she'll have a problem
accepting a gift from me. I was thinking of maybe meeting her at a mall
and letting her buy some things (maybe lingerie perhaps?) or maybe even
having lunch/dinner or seeing a movie with her. What do you think I should
do?
Z:
My Pop Poll indicates that about 2/3 of people have not purchased a
Christmas gift for a dancer, which means a full 1/3 has.
What I normally suggest is that you do not buy a gift for a dancer you
hardly know, thinking that giving a gift is better than money. Since you
apparently know this dancer pretty well, I don't see any problem in giving
her a gift. Going shopping with her can be a good idea also. That's
probably better unless you know her well enough to purchase the gift for
her, and if she's picky, that can be difficult. I suggest you go have
dinner, go shopping, then go to the movies in that order. That way, if she
wants to escape after shopping, you already had your meal.

20 Questions
Sat 11/24/01 4:30 AM
Q:
When did you first notice that strip clubs were a growing business? What
do you think caused this growth?
Z:
Strip clubs were "growing" well before I was old enough to go to strip
clubs. However, if you are talking about the city of Los Angeles, there
was a period in the late 70's, or early 80's when the city prohibited new
clubs from being opened. They were sued and the city eventually lost and
had to pay millions of dollars to the lawyers and club owners. I know
because the lawyer representing the clubs was John Weston's law firm and
he has photocopies of the checks on his wall. In Los Angeles, the growth
happened in the early 90's when the law suit was settled.
Q:
When did you first notice "mileage" (presumably witht he introduction of a
lap dance). How quickly did lap dances go from hands-off to where they're
at now.
Z:
In Los Angeles, the first place I noticed that had lap dances was Eye Full
(now Deja Vu) in the late 80's. But there were lap dances before in other
cities in other states. In Los Angeles, it went from hands-off to hands-on
in about 5 years or so. I knew it was only a matter of time because they
had nude full touching lap dances in other states.
Q:
Do you think vice is getting paid off? How come there doesn't seem to be
that many busts? Or are they just not interested (have more important
things to do)?
Z:
Vice has always been paid off. Even Captains get paid off. I guess the
frequency or quantity of busts is relative. I personally thought there
were too many busts considering the payoffs and crooked cops, but you seem
to think there are not that many. For a while, there seemed to be at least
one bust per month, sometimes more. The bust frequency has gone down in
the last year or so. Probably because there are other more pressing crimes
for the cops to worry about.
Q:
I'm currently trying to find what the current vice rules are that govern
what is/isn't allowed in socal. All the girls vaguely speculate but no one
really knows what EXACTLY could constitute an arrest. I assume clubs,
wanting to claim no liability for their "independent contractors" think
the best thing to do is just never talk about it. Consequently, you've got
a bunch of very uninformed strippers running around. I've tried to look
this info up on the net, to no avail. Do you have a list of current rules
or know where I could get one?
Z:
Deja Vu used to have a long rule sheet. I think I have a small copy of it
on my website under "Rants and Raves". There were some funny stuff on
there. I've seen many clubs with long lists of do's and don'ts, including
how many feet have to touch the floor, cannot do floor work, don't spread
your pussy, don't lick the pole, don't give out your number to
customers... all kinds of rules. Some rules I've read even talks about
eating in the dressing room, bisexual behavior in the club, and illegal
activities (drugs, prostitution) in the clubs.
As far as the law, there are no laws pertaining to lap dances. However,
they can bust you on other things like "lewd conduct", prostitution, etc.
Those are laws that pertain to anybody, and not just strippers in clubs.
Since there are no laws that pertain specifically for lap dances, the
clubs often don't spell out what is legal because it depends on
enforcement. For example, a friend of mine (a customer) was busted when a
dancer put her breasts on his face on stage. The dancer also got busted.
Yet, I've seen dancers put dildos and bottles into themselves on stage.
What's legal depends on who is enforcing the law.
As you may be aware, Anaheim tried to make lap dances illegal and
busted dancers and customers based on their new law. However, it went to
court and after an appeal, the club won their case and as far as I know,
that law was struck down. After that, there has been much fewer lap dance
related busts.
However, keep in mind that the US Supreme court has recently ruled that
dancing nude is not protected by the 1st Amendment. This means that
eventually, cities and states can enact new laws that could outlaw strip
clubs completely. Hawaii and Tampa (Florida) has made lap dances illegal
and so far have been able to keep the laws on the books. It will be
interesting to see what happens in the future regarding lap dances and
strip clubs.
Q:
As for busts, don't get me wrong, I think they suck. The WRONG people are
the ones who get prosecuted (i.e. dancer, customer) who are oftentimes, if
not always, acting out of true ignorance of the law. I know, I know,
ignorance is no excuse, but I think in all cases it's the CLUB who should
be responsible, but they're protected under the whole "independant
contractor" thing.
Z:
The clubs are not "protected" because the dancers are independent
contractors, but that does give them an extra level of protection,
especially from civil law suits. Even in clubs where the dancers are
employees, the clubs usually just tell the dancers not to touch the
customers. Of course, all the dancers ignore the rules and touch but
that's just the protection for the club. I'm not a lawyer but I don't
think the club is required to give the dancers a full list of what is
legal and what is not. For example, when you get a job as a clerk at a
Starbucks, do they give you a list of all things that would be illegal
(e.g. dealing drugs, stealing money from customers, etc)? No, but they do
tell you that if you steal from the store, you will get fired.
Basically, the dancers are put in a strange position because the clubs
do not want to tell the dancers what is illegal because that will make
them make less money. Basically, the clubs are the "pimps" and they *do*
want you to do illegal things that will make them more money. They don't
really care if you get busted, within reason. Also, there are constantly
new laws trying to close down clubs, as well as new or different
interpretations of what the community standards are. What really is "lewd
conduct" in one city may not be in another. Basically, it depends on what
a jury determines to be lewd conduct. Is touching your breasts lewd? Is
inserting a finger lewd? Then at what point does lap dancing become
prostitution? Is rubbing the crotch with your butt prostitution? With you
hands? With your mouth? If the D.A. decides to go ahead with prosecution,
the final "judge" is the jury. By the way, the bust where my friend got
arrested for having breasts on his face was dropped. However, the arrest
is still on his record and he is trying to get that expunged.
Q:
A "customer" I spoke to recently said he believes that strip clubs became
a growing business with the advent of music videos - becuas they made
"dancers" seem glamorous. He said before that, dancers were mostly young
runaways, and strip clubs were more fringe, biker-type hangouts that you
had to sheepishly slither into; whereas now, you could bring your
girlfriend to a strip club. It sounds to me like you're saying strip clubs
grew when they became corporatised (i.e. deja vu), and California was
taking it's cue from other states. Is this correct?
Z:
Well, MTV got it's start in 1981. In Los Angeles, this is about the time
it became increasingly difficult for new clubs to open (within the next 5
years or so). Back then, the clubs were, for the most part, sleazy and
mostly populated by runaway underage dancers who came to Hollywood from
Iowa thinking they would be in an MTV video for Motley Crue.
However, one club that was very different was the Body Shop. It was
very upscale, served alcohol, had a M.C., theater type lighting, curtains
going up/down on the stage, dancers got paid good money by the club, and
also had comedians and magicians along with the strippers. The dance
numbers often had costumes. But keep in mind that most of the dancers
where professional dancers and they barely took off their top. If I
remember correctly, I think back then, they could go nude if they wanted
to, but I don't remember if any did. They did not get tipped on stage,
they just got paid by the club.
The "nice" gentlemen's clubs started in Texas and Colorado where it was
nice enough for businessmen to take their clients to. Los Angeles was
probably about 10 years behind the times compared to other cities. Today,
Spearmint Rhino is trying to catch up. If you want to see a really upscale
club, checkout the new Plan B in West Los Angeles. Really nice.
I guess to answer your question, yes the clubs in Los Angeles became
nicer with the Rhino chain. I don't think Deja Vu made it much nicer with
the corporate take-over of Eye Full, All they did was treat their dancers
much worse and lose all the good ones to Tropical Lei (which was brand new
at the time). Frankly, the first new "upscale" club to open in those days
was the Extasy club in Northridge. In those days, opening a club in a nice
area was unheard of and the community shut the club down. They were the
first in Los Angeles to have weekly porno star "features", if you could
call it that.
After they got closed down, Bob's Classy Lady was the next, and only
club at that time to have features. Bob talked to the owner of Extasy and
did confess that when he saw the club, that's what he wanted to do when he
opened his club. And for a while, Bob was very successful with his
formula. I remember when some of the big name features would pack the
club, and when I saw pack, I mean there were 6-10 people thick, standing
around the entire stage. I could not see anything without actually
standing on a stool. The parking was full and you'd have to park really
far away.
I think Bob's success with features probably had the boys at the Rhino
thinking about doing the same in the future when they opened their first
clubs. They basically used the same idea except they kept the clubs
smaller, which in hindsight was a smart move. I think today, it's very
hard to pack a large club like Bob's and the overhead will get in the way.
I'd rather own 3 small clubs spread out than 1 giant club like Bob's.

Dance Contest
Tue 11/20/01 3:51 AM
Q:
I'm thinking of entering a dance contest, but I've never done one before
and I have a few questions. I hope you don't mind answering them, and
maybe you can help me decide where in/near L.A. to go. I'm not shaved. Is
that a problem (for clubs or customers)?
Z:
It's not a problem if you are going to be at a nude club. I could be a
problem at a bikini or topless club because any pubic hair showing is
illegal. Most dancers at nude clubs have their public hair trimmed or
shaved off. For some statistics on what people prefer, see:
http://archive.zbone.me/hts/pollarch99.htm#3_1999
Q:
Can contestants give lap dances at nude clubs? If so, are they topless or
nude?
Z:
This will depend on the club. Some clubs do allow contestants to do lap
dances, many do not allow it. The ones that do allow it will allow
whatever the regular house dancers are allowed to do, which can vary from
all clothes on, to nude lap dances. If you want to know for sure, call the
club first.
Q:
I'm 33, but I think I look a little younger. I know they won't turn me
away because of this, but will I stand out?
Z:
If you look younger, that's good but they can turn anybody away for any
reason, including age. They will just say that they have enough people in
their contest. As for if you will stand out, it depends on if you are
going to a nude or topless contest. Nude clubs allow 18+ contestants so
you will be competing with younger dancers. Topless clubs are 21+ so the
dancers will be a little older. It's impossible for me to answer your
question without seeing you in person or a recent picture. If you are
worried, you could visit the club on contest night just to check it out,
without entering.
Q:
If I want to get familliar with a club beforehand, will most let me come
in and dance a set some other time?
Z:
No. There might be some clubs that are dead during the day and you might
be able to go on the stage if there are no customers. However, any club
with customers will not allow it.
Q:
Is it standard for the contestants to do two songs, or do many clubs have
one-song contests?
Z:
Again, this depends on the club. If there are a lot of contestants, they
might do just one song. If they have less, they might do two. I have seen
contests where dancers go one song in 2 rotations. In other words, you go
up on song, then all the other contestants go up, then you go up again for
one song.
Hope that helps a little. For more contest info, see:
http://archive.zbone.me/zone/faqfemale.htm#contest

Power Play
Tue 11/6/01 3:31 PM
Q:
Last night I went to see my favorite. Someone told me she was upstairs,
where she remained until about 1:40. When she came down, obviously it was
too late for dances, but I was curious to see what she would do. It was a
young guy, like me, not dressed well. They went to the bar, where he paid.
Then something strange happened. She took him over to the small hallway in
front of the bathrooms, where they embraced wildly for a few seconds. They
were kissing, but I couldn't tell if they were kissing on the mouth, I
hope not.
I've known her for two years now, and for the first year she was just
another dancer. I almost never had to wait for her, and when I did, it was
never more than ten minutes. This is the fourth time I've had to wait for
her for a long time, like more than an hour, while somebody gave her more
than I ever could. So instead of the confusion and desperation I used to
feel, it's more of a sense of "here we go again".
My question is, I can't decide whether or not to go again tonight. It
would be the simplest way to erase the disappointment of last night. But
how would she perceive that? Would I look foolish, and she would think
that I was totally under her power? It seems to me that's how she would
think. Or would she just be happy to see me, and even be grateful that I
came in?
Z:
Regarding visiting her again, I'm going to give it to you straight. I
wouldn't worry about what she thinks about it. Don't forget that it's just
a business transaction. You don't really worry about the donut store clerk
when you buy too many donuts, do you? So what if the clerk thinks you are
eating too many donuts. It's none of their business. Don't confuse her
with your friends or girlfriends.
However, if you feel that by being "under her power", she may try to
get more tips from you and negotiating becomes a factor, I would say you
still have the last word because tipping is optional and you can always
just give her what you want to give her. You're not buying real estate.
There is no power play negotiations going on. You are not dealing with
your girlfriend or wife.
You have the money. She wants to get paid. It's that simple. Go when
you want. Pay her what you want to pay her. You don't have to worry about
any other factors. If she starts acting weird, move on to another dancer.
If it gets too weird at that club, go to another club. You go to a strip
club so you don't have to worry about crap like this.

Game Playing
Fri 11/2/01 2:22 PM
Q:
What are some of the games that dancers play are far as postponing or
avoiding hotel fun with customers and/or regulars? What are some of the
signs that let you know that she's playing around with you? Is there a way
to counter-act or should you just continue to play the game?
Z:
You might want to read one of my Q&A email posted at:
http://archive.zbone.me/internet/p-ask01.htm
Scroll down to the one titled: Scheduling Private Shows, Fri 4/6/01 5:29
AM
But to specifically answer your question, as far as I'm concerned, if
they put you off once, they are not really interested and are stringing
you along. If you are a good tipper, then it makes business sense for them
to string you along as long as possible. If you make plans with her and
she cancels, most likely, she is stringing you along. It's easy to realize
that as a business deal, there should be no reason for canceling or
delaying a good deal.
As far as "playing the game", I suggest you don't. The best way to
"counter-act" dancers who play games is to not play with them at all. Why
play games when there are plenty that will not play games with you. It's
the same as any business. If you don't like the service, go elsewhere.

Dancers' Code?
Tue 10/30/01 2:16 PM
Q:
I was wondering if there's such as a thing as dancers' code as it deals
with each other's customers and/or regulars?
Z:
At some clubs, this is a house rule. At others, the dancers sort of have
their own code but many "new" dancers (read young) don't know or don't
care and sometimes get their asses kicked.
Q:
If a dancer has a regular customer, do other dancers stay away from him or
do they not approach him as directly as other customers?
Z:
Yes. Again, it depends on the club/dancers. There is a scene in the
"Dancing at the Blue Iguana" where one dancer tells another to stay away
from her regular and they start fighting. I have personally witnessed a
fight like this at a real club.
Q:
Do dancers share regulars and if so, how does that work?
Z:
Only if the dancers are close friends. Otherwise, there would be a fight.
Q:
Finally, for dancers that do the private shows/dances for a customer, do
they expect that customer not to get any private shows/dances with any
other dancers?
Z:
Some do, some don't. Personally, I don't go to strip clubs to be
monogamous. I can do that with a wife or girlfriend. I pay to have the
privilege to do and be with anybody I like.
Q:
Is there such a thing as loyalty as far as that goes?
Z:
I have seen customers who are loyal only to one dancer.

Budding Stripper Needs Advice
Thu 10/11/01 12:31 AM
Q:
How do strippers learn how to pole dance? Where do they practice??!! I'm a
great dancer otherwise, but can't figure out the pole part. Do I need to
install one in my apartment? Are there any good videos that could help me
learn?
Z:
Most dancers learn from others at work. However, Fawnia has a great "How
To" video to learn pole work. I have a link to her site at:
http://archive.zbone.me/dancer/video99.htm
I highly recommend her Polework video. There's no place to practice except
at a strip club. If you start working there, you can either come early or
stay late and practice. It would be better if you can befriend a dancer
who could teach you a few moves to get you started. Frankly, it's not
necessary to be able to do pole work to be a dancer. It's just extra.
Q:
If *you* were a stripper, where would you want to dance? (I'm serious! ;-)
)
Z:
That's a really tough question. Personally, I don't like rigid schedules
so I would work at a club where I could come and leave at any time. There
are some clubs that force you to work a particular schedule and I would
not like that. I would also want to work where there was no big pressure
to have to make a lot of money (e.g. lap factories like Deja Vu or
Spearmint Rhino). I don't like stress at work.
Q:
Now, here's a more involved question: What I'd really like to do, in
addition to dancing, is girl/girl private shows. I'm really, really good
at that, but my past girlfriends haven't been into the idea of
"exhibition" with me as a team. I'm waay into it, and I know I'd put on a
great show for *any* audience. I need to find a willing, attractive, fun
partner, but I don't know where to look. Any ideas? Do you know girls that
do this?
Z:
Yes, there are many private clubs and I know several dancers who do them.
Some clubs are once a week, others are only once a month. Usually, it's
nude with alcohol and some are anything goes. Since I don't know you, I
really can't send you to any of them. The upside is you can make a lot of
money. The downside is, it is illegal.
Q:
Are there agencies that book this sort of act for parties? My questions
might sound sort of naive, but believe it or not I've worked in the adult
entertainment industry for a few years now. None of my friends are into
the strip club scene as much as me either, so I don't have anyone I know
personally to ask.
Z:
There are agencies that book private parties (e.g. bachelor parties).
Q:
I'm attaching pictures of myself for you to check out. These were taken
one night recently in Vegas and when I went out to Cheetah's I was asked
several times for lapdances and I wasn't even working there! Do you think
I have the goods to pursue this line of work??
Z:
In my opinion, you look like you have the goods to not only be a dancer,
but to be very successful at it.

Was That Hole Always a Hole?
Thu 10/4/01 1:20 AM
Q:
In one of her tantilizing conversations [one of my dancer friends]
mentioned they fired a number of "girls" at her job because they weren't
girls. Apparently, alot of transsexuals "Ts'" were working at this place
and management didn't want the rumors getting out. She said you wouldn't
be able to tell them apart and that they typically made more money because
you got more mileage out of them.
Thinking about it; it's very wrong for TS' to work in gentlemen clubs
since we're there for women only. Have you heard anything about this
problem? Don't get me wrong. To each there own.
Have you heard what the clubs are doing to solve this problem? I would
think this could lead into some type of violence.
Z:
Well, let me first say that I've been aware of this "problem" for years.
There has been many dancers, especially at bikini and topless clubs that
are post-op, sometimes pre-op, transsexuals working. It's more rare to see
one at a nude club but they do exist. Sometimes, the management does not
know. Other times, they suspect but cannot be sure.
In one case that I am aware of, I was told by a dancer that a dancer
working at a nude club was a post-op transsexual. I sat at the stage
during her set and tried to take a good close look. I first noticed that
she did not spread her legs wide open like the other dancers. When she did
open her legs slightly, she was not close to the customers. I was never
able to take a good look.
In another case, I noticed that a topless dancer had a very low voice
and large Adam's apple. Upon closer inspection (no, not that close), I
noticed that s/he had scars under her ass which I assume were from butt
implants. I have to admit, her ass looked great, except for the scars. Of
course, she also had huge melon sized implanted boobs, but so did many of
the other dancers. I watched her and noticed her dances were very nasty.
Much more than the other dancers. Later, I found out that s/he was fired
for doing illegal dances and French kissing customers.
I've talked to some people regarding this exact topic and there are
very mixed but strong opinions. Some feel that if they look good enough to
fool the customers, who cares if they were men. Others feel the same way
as you do, in that if the information came out, some customers might get
violent or sue.
As far as solving this "problem", I'm not sure what can be done. I've
been told that post-op transsexuals have legal IDs that show they are
female. Unless clubs start asking the dancers for a copy of their original
birth certificate, there is no way they can know for sure if one of their
dancers used to be a man. If you are talking about pre-op transsexuals, I
assume that most are weeded out by other dancers but I'm sure some get
away with it for a while. Clubs can probably legally fire them for using
fake IDs or lying in their application.
The bottom line is, you can never be absolutely sure of who you're
getting a dance from. I've noticed that sometimes the most "feminine"
acting dancers are transsexuals. If you are super concerned about this,
you may have to ask dancers for DNA test results before getting a lap
dance.

Old Reviews
Mon 9/24/01 4:50 PM
Q:
how often do you or are you going to update your club reviews? I noticed
that some of them are over a year old. Just curious.
Z:
Currently, I am going to about 1 or 2 new clubs per month. Since there are
about 100 clubs listed on the website, this will take me about 4 years to
rotate through all the clubs, assuming I don't repeat visit clubs. I am
trying to have reviews of clubs that I have still not visited yet but it's
going very slowly.

Soft Skin Secret
Wed 9/19/01 4:10 PM
Q:
anyways me and my frinds were talking the other day, and we were wondering
how most strippers get their skin so soft. Is there a special lotion or
combination that they might have, we would like to pass on this info to
our significant others.
Z:
I could do a gross joke right now but I won't. But seriously, that would
be a good question for Ms. Xena's section. You might pose it to her. I
think some people just have great skin, some don't. Being young, having a
good diet and putting on lotion all help but I personally think it's
mostly genetics.

Extra Mileage
Thu 9/13/01 3:22 PM
Q:
I was wondering if there's was a way to encourage a dancer for some extra
mileage. I know this dancer who very beautiful but she's more of a dancer
than anything. Occasionally she'll lap me for a little but for the most
part she dances and moves a few inches in front of me. How do I say more
lap and less dancing?
Z:
Well, the description of the dances you are getting leads me to suspect
that you are at a topless club. If this is the case, the dancer is already
doing more than she should for you. At most topless clubs, the dancers are
told to stay a few inches away from the customer, with no contact. If you
are at a nude club where other dancers are doing full song grinds, perhaps
you should find a new dancer.
To answer your question directly, I just ask for what I want and either
the dancer tells me she can't, or won't or she complies. However, keep in
mind that if you don't know the dancer very well, she may turn you down
because you could be vice, whereas if she knows you, she'll probably do a
better dance, especially if you get multiple dances. Therefore, her
"rules" could change from day to day or even hour to hour. Some clubs have
floaters who walk around to check to make sure dancers are getting out of
control. She has to watch for them as well.

Question about upscale strip clubs
Wed 8/29/01 4:23 PM
Q:
If one plans to go to an "upscale" strip club and does not want to be
asked for table and/or lap and/or couch dances, but just wants to see the
stage show, is it a better idea to sit close to the stage? In other words,
does where you sit have any bearing on whether or not the dancers ask/bug
you for a lap/dance/couch dance?
Z:
Generally speaking, the closer you are to the stage, the more likely you
will be asked if you want a lap dance. This is because the dancers assume
that if you close to the stage, you are interested. However, the type of
club is probably more of a factor than where you sit. If you are at a "lap
factory" (i.e. a club where lap dances are the primary entertainment), it
will not matter where you sit. If you do not want to be bothered, you can
go to a club that emphasizes stage dancing, usually a topless or bikini
club and sit far away from the stage.
Q:
It isn't the money--I just am not interested in lap/dance/couch dances and
prefer to watch the stage show.
Z:
Depending on my mood, I am the same way. I usually go to topless or bikini
clubs if I just want to watch the stage dancing. Look for a club that has
a very large stage. This would indicate that the club emphasizes stage
dancing. In Los Angeles, the
Wild Goose,
Fritz, That's It! and
Sam's Hof Brau are some
examples. However, even at these clubs, there will be dancers asking you
for lap dances. I politely decline but sometimes you will get that one
dancer that will want to sit and try to talk you into a lap dance. When
this happens, I tell her up front that I do not want lap dances from
anybody. If she elects to still stay and chat, I may give her some money
to watch the stage dancing with me. While she is sitting with me, no other
dancers will approach me for lap dances.
Q:
By the way, in my opinion, strip clubs which only have stage dancing have
far more attractive women working in them, but I travel a lot and it is
difficult to find clubs that only offer stage dancing.
Z:
In Los Angeles, there are very few clubs that do not offer lap dancing at
the club (e.g. Snooky's).

Crying game?
Sat 8/25/01 2:49 AM
Q:
Do you know of any transgender strip clubs in the L.A. County?
Z:
Nope. If you find one... just keep it to yourself.

Bouncing
Wed 8/22/01 3:07 PM
Q:
I really want to get into bouncing at strip clubs. i can handle myslef in
a fight, im 6'11 240lbs, but i have no real experience. what should i do
to find work in LA?
Z:
As with most jobs, the easiest way is to know somebody who already works
there. The higher in the food chain they are, the better (e.g. owner,
manager). The next best thing would be to know a dancer that works at a
club so that she can alert you when a bouncing job opens up at a club. If
you have any friends that bounce at clubs, that would also be another foot
in the door.
However, I assume you do not have any of these connections or you would
not be asking me about it. The first thing you need to do is to find out
what the "bouncing" situation is at any particular club. Some clubs hire
outside security companies to do their security to reduce liability. In
this case, contacting the club would not be of any help to you because
they do not hire the security. Other clubs will hire bonded security
guards, sometimes with firearms. You have to be licensed by the state to
be eligible for this type of job. Some clubs will have both security and
bouncers.
There are more than a few clubs which hire their own bouncers. You need
to find them, visit them and talk to their managers and let them know of
your availability. If you don't have previous experience as a bouncer, it
might be difficult convincing them that you can do the job, even if you
are physically fit. The reason is because being a bouncer requires being
able to "talk" to drunk customers to prevent fighting inside the club. You
should tell the manager that you worked at another establishment (doesn't
have to be a strip club), and hope that they don't call them to verify. If
you do have previous experience, try to see if your previous employer can
give you a recommendation.
Once you make your contact, you have to stay with it. Most likely,
there will not be an open position and you will have to wait. However,
there are many other people who will be contacting them. You have to make
sure that your name is on the top of that waiting list. If you start
"hanging" out with the manager or other bouncers there, that might help to
keep your name on the top of that list.
That's the best I can do for you. I hope that's of some help. Like most
other jobs, it's who you know, not what you know.

Working in LA
Tue 8/21/01 5:53 AM
Q:
I'm a UK dancer thinking about do a stint in the US. (as I seem to make
most of my money from Americans...it seems they can't get enough of my
accent)
I've been dancing for 4 years but never worked out the EU so have never
had to deal with this work permit problem.
I've worked in Spearmint in London and they have said that I can work
for them in LA no problems. But I've hear it's a little dirty there so I'm
not sure it's the right club for me as I'm more a hostess not hustle kind
of gal (I talk the money out of their wallets rather than grind it out, if
you know what I mean.)
So my questions are what are the pro and cons of free winging it in LA?
Can I get a dance license without a green card? Will I get work in a
decent club without a green card? and finally Do English roses (ie petit,
pale, redhead) make money in LA?
Z:
First of all, thanks for your email and if I'm not mistaken, this is the
first email from a dancer in the UK that I have received. I will try my
best to answer all of your questions.
- I have noticed a economic down turn in the last year in the strip
club industry in Los Angeles. I attribute this to the fact that many new
clubs have opened in a short time, and the US (and Los Angeles) economy
being slow right now. Therefore, this may not be the best time to visit
Los Angeles to make money dancing. However, if you are a money maker,
I'm sure you will do well no matter where you go. Currently, I'd suggest
Las Vegas as the best city for dancing.
- Spearmint Rhino is not a "little dirty", it's VERY dirty. However,
I've heard that the Rhino in London is nude with alcohol with full
contact lap dances. If this is true, that is more than what we have in
Los Angeles. The only non-dirty Rhino is in Las Vegas that I am aware
of. It's hard for me to judge what you would consider "dirty" but we
have full contact nude lap dances in Los Angeles, and at the Rhino, the
customer can touch the dancer.
- As for working without the proper papers, many foreign dancers are
dancing because they don't have the proper papers to work at a normal
job. Basically, all you would need at most clubs is your passport.
However, at the clubs that pay you a paycheck, they would require a
social security number which you would not have. Most dancers I know
(mostly from Canada) use fake numbers with a fake driver's license.
Basically, the club just needs to cover their ass so if your fake ID
looks good enough for them, that's all they need. They are more
concerned about your age because underage dancers can get them shut
down, whereas, a dancer without papers would rarely be found out.
- From the sound of your email, it sounds like you should work at the
more "upscale" type clubs. I would suggest
4 Play and
Bare Elegance. However,
Bare Elegance pays their dancers so it might be a little harder to work
there. These clubs cater to the more affluent customers who you can
"talk" your way into their wallets instead of having to grind it out, as
you say.
- The pros and cons of free winging in LA:
Pros:
LA is a fun town if you like to party with celebrities. Plenty of those
here in Hollyweird, as well as drugs and money flying around. If you are
really good looking, you can go to any party or club. If you like that
celebrity infested fast lane life, there is no better place in the
world. Also, plenty of tourist traps, I mean, attractions, enough to
last you a few years.
Cons:
Too much drugs, night life weak compared to San Francisco or New York. A
lot of wannabe users who will try to hook-up with you pretending to be
your friend and will rip you off or pimp you to the highest bidder. Of
course, that can happen anywhere but there are a lot of them here
because they are attracted here from every place.
- Petite, pale redheads can make money in LA if they are good looking.
However, LA is the town for deep tans and hard bodies so sometimes pale
girls have it a little tougher. I do know many customers who look for
redheads so they are out there.

Club advice
Mon 6/11/01 4:30 AM
Q:
I notice you never bother to mention Hostess Clubs.
Z:
Hostess clubs are NOT strip clubs. At strip clubs, the dancers strip. I
only review strip clubs. However, I do have
TenFree's reviews on the Hostess
clubs.
Q:
Do you think any of them are worthwhile and can a woman make money at
these places.
Z:
Do you think that hundreds of girls would be working there if they didn't
make any money? If what you want to know is, will you make more money at a
hostess club than a strip club, that's a different story. The answer to
that question depends on you. If you are good looking, and don't like to
talk to customers, you can make more money at a strip club. If you are
not, but know how to talk to customers for hours, you will probably make
more money at a hostess club. There are other variables but that's the
basics.
Q:
I am a veteran of nude clubs, keep in mind.
Z:
I'm not sure how that relates to working at a hostess club where you don't
take any clothes off. It's like asking me, will I make more money working
as a manager at a large office? What does that have to do with dancing?
It's 2 different businesses.
Q:
I figure you don't think much of these establishments or you would list
them in your Club Listings.
Z:
No, it's not that. In case you didn't realize, my website is called "Z
Bone's Strip Club Connection". Not, "Z Bone's Hostess Club Connection".
You don't go to CNN.com thinking you are going to get information on strip
clubs, right? Same thing.
Q:
I see that one does not disrobe at all, or maybe I'm wrong about that.
Z:
You are right. That would be illegal because they don't have the proper
permit for that. Basically, you sit with the customer and talk. Some
customers will want to grope you or dance (like slow dancing with
groping). Other hardcore customers will want you to rub them or give HJs.
Many hostess clubs have been busted for that but for the most part, not
much goes on in terms of sex.
Q:
Also, I heard that another club in the C of I pays their girls a salary.
The club is called Hollywood East Theatre. It did not get good reviews and
nothing was said about the hourly pay, but I've worked with girls who say
that that club pays an hourly fee. What do you think of this?
Z:
Well, you are posing 2 different questions here, so I will answer them
separately. As for Hollywood East, it's dead and the customers are cheap.
The management sucks according to the girls. I cannot recommend this club
to dancers OR customers. I would say that regardless of if they pay or
not. By the way, they do pay the dancers because nobody in their right
mind would work there otherwise.
Your second question is, "Should I dance at a club that pays hourly
fees?" The answer depends on if you want to pay taxes or not. There are
many other clubs (even nude) where you get paid hourly. As a matter of
fact, there is currently a class action lawsuit filed by dancers that will
eventually make about 20 more clubs pay their dancers hourly wages. This
has already happened in San Francisco in 1998 and from the looks of it,
the same will happen in all the cities in the U.S. eventually.
Instead of worrying about hourly wages, you should consider take home.
You should work where you maximize your take home pay. What this means is,
if you work at a non-wage paying club (where you have to tipout the house,
etc) and take home $300, compare that to the wage paying club. If after
paying taxes, you are taking home more than $300, than you should work at
the salary club. If not, work at the non-salary club. Simple. Go where the
money is.
So basically, what I'm telling you is, don't get tricked into working
at a wage paying club just because they give you a check. Make sure that
you are actually taking home more money before you do so. You might have
to work there a little to see how it is. I can tell you that the
Bare Elegance,
Jet Strip,
Valley Ball and
Century Lounge all pay
hourly wages. There are also several other alcohol clubs that also pay .
Q:
Do they make it worth the girls' while? If it's not a good club and
doesn't attract men, then minimum wage will not cut it.
Z:
Exactly.
Q:
But I like their idea of putting the girls on the payroll. That is
definitely something different here in L.A.
Z:
I don't know your situation so I can't advise you regarding the pros and
cons of payroll. If you are currently not paying taxes on your income, you
had better think twice about going on payroll or the IRS might come after
you.

How to get some freebees
Thu 6/7/01 3:26 PM
Q:
[I'm a regular at 4Play and having a b-day party.] I won't be bringing a
big group, but since August of '99, I've been there about 40 times and
spent just under $7,000 (seriously). I think it would be nice to get
SOMETHING for free. What's the best way?
Z:
Well, at 4 Play, I think
only the manager or the owner can okay people to get in free. Once they
let you in free, the doorman will recognize you and let you in free. Like
anything else, it's who you know, not what you do. If you are spending big
bucks there, the manager probably knows. However, unless you get chummy
with the manager and he knows you by name, you're just another customer.
If you just go there and ask to be let in free, unless the manager knows
you, the door person and cashier really can't do anything for you.
If you are willing to spend more time and effort, you can eventually
get in free. Because of my website, it's easy for me to get to know the
owners now. However, before I had this website, the way I got to know the
managers were I would come into the club when it was slow (during the day
or weekday nights when it's slow) and literally talk to the manager for as
long as he would talk to me. I would spend more time with him than the
girls. After a while, I became a regular (not a dancer's regular, but the
club regular) and was able to come and go without paying.
Being a club regular has it's good points and bad. Instead of just your
ATF dancer asking for money, you'll find that mangers, DJs and even owners
will ask for money. The upside is, you'll get special privileges you can't
even imagine.

Who decides on mileage?
Sat 5/19/01 3:26 PM
Q:
It is a management decision as to how serious the mileage is at certain
clubs or strictly up to whether the girls want to do "extras"? So I am
asking you, does Deja Vu
just allow more or
Gentlemen's Club run by prudes? Seriously, what is your take on this?
Z:
It's both the club and individual dancer. The club decides how far they
will bend the laws (or break them), and tells the dancers the "house
rules". Then the dancer will decide how far she will go beyond the house
rule. Usually, the club will draw the line closer to conservative, knowing
that the dancer will take it further. If the club told the dancer how far
she could really go, she would go even more, and the club knows this.
GC has always been conservative. It's the owner. DV has a lot of
lawyers and they can get away with just about anything.
Q:
I miss a lot of the "veteran" posters. Are they somewhere else? Or are we
just in a lull where Duece and his clones have taken over? Dont tell me
they all went back to TUSCL or the new Yahoo site? Where are they all?
Z:
I don't know specifically where they are but I have seen similar waves on
ASSC as well as on my website. People come and go. Sometimes, there will
be a wave of great posters, then it calms down. There are very few long
term posters.

Carwash
Sun 4/29/01 4:13 AM
Q:
Are there any topless carwashes in the LA area?
Z:
Not that I am aware of.

How to be a VIP
Thu 4/19/01 3:32 PM
Q:
I'm new to strip clubs, and I'm young and don't have much money. What's
the best way to get VIP cards, discounts, etc. to save money for what's
really important in the clubs? I'd appreciate some advice.
Z:
If you go to the clubs often (like 3 times a week or more), then it might
be worth actually buying a VIP card. If you go infrequently, just pay like
everybody else. Unless you know a manager or owner, you will have to pay
to get in. And if you don't already know them, you have to visit the club
a lot to get to know the people there so either way will cost you a lot of
money. Also, there is no reason for an owner to let you in free unless he
thinks that you will blow a lot of money inside his club.
One thing you can do is to pick one club that you like. So instead of
spreading your money at many clubs, and nobody remembering who you are,
you have a chance that they might remember you. Be friendly with the
staff. Figure out who would be the person you have to be chummy with in
order to get in free. At many clubs, the person at the door cannot let you
in free because they are being watched or there is a turnstile. You will
have to find the person who can let you in free. At other clubs, just
knowing the guy standing at the door is enough to get you in free. More
likely, the smaller clubs are that way. The big chains are run more like a
tight company.
I've used that method in the past and it has worked for me well.
However, at first, you will find that you will have to talk to the manager
or doorman a lot more than you spend time talking to dancers. Often, you
will end up talking outside the club or in an office. Also, you'd better
be ready for some of them to ask you for favors, including loans, or worse
things. Be careful of what you wish for. Sometimes it comes with baggage.

Getting busted at strip clubs
Thu 4/12/01 3:51 PM
Q:
i didn't kno that u could get arrested for dancing at a strip club, i did
in fact figure that if u do anything related to prostituting u could get
jail time. what exactly are the illeagal offences u'd have to committ to
get jail time?
Z:
If it's your first offense, you will not get jail time for almost anything
that can happen in a strip club (other than violent acts). However, if it
is not your first offense, you could get a short jail sentence. For more
info, see my FAQ at:
zbone.me/zone/faqfemale.htm#busts
Also, see my "what is legal" FAQ at:
zbone.me/zone/faqclub.htm#Legal

Scheduling Private Shows
Fri 4/6/01 5:29 AM
Q:
The dancers I've dealt with [for private shows] have been inconsistent.
[snip]
Z:
Yes, most dancers are flakes. That's why they're dancers. If they could
get to work on time, they would have a regular job.
Q:
I get a room and it's either, 1.) I call them and can't get in touch with
her (her phone's off), or 2.) they're supposed to call me on my cell phone
and I get no response. When I see them later, I heard that something came
up at the last minute and they were unable to get away.
Z:
DO NOT get a room until you actually see the dancer. You can meet her in a
public place or if the club allows it, meet her at the club.
Q:
I can understand that dancers have personal lives and responsibilities
outside of the clubs, i.e. children, boyfriends, other jobs, etc. I just
hate taking time out of my schedule to arrange a rendez-vous with a dancer
only to find out that they don't take time out of their schedule to spend
time with me. I've tried getting their beeper numbers (most of them don't
have them) or arranging a time for us to talk outside the club (specific
day, time, and phone numbers to call), but to no avail.
Z:
There are a few possible answers to why they don't give you their numbers.
They might have boyfriends/husbands that do not know what they are doing.
They don't trust that you won't call at weird hours, or become a stalker.
Or they don't have a beeper and don't want to give out their home number.
The later may not be bad. If the girl does not have a beeper, that
probably means that she is NOT doing outside meetings with anybody else.
If she does this all the time, she would have a beeper or cell phone.
However, that does not make your life any easier.
Personally, even when a dancer gives me their number, I give them mine
and tell them to call me when they want to see me. The reason I do this is
because dancers are so flaky, they don't know from day to day, what their
schedule is. They will call me when they want to see me and I arrange to
see them right away. Yes, it's a hassle conforming to their schedule but
it works. If they don't call, I don't bother with them.
Q:
The women I've dealt with for the most part have been pretty good to me so
I don't think that they're deliberately leading me on. One of them has
been very specific on the days she's available and her hourly fee. The
dancer who used to do private shows has been good to me in the past (plus
she looks a lot like Alley Baggett; the only difference is that she's
taller, a little darker, and has bigger breasts than Alley, so I'm willing
to give her the benefit of the doubt!!!). So I think it's all just a case
of bad timing and circumstances so far, but I hate being stood up. This
has happened the past four times now, costing me over $160 in hotel rooms
with nothing to show for it.
Z:
I assume you pre-arrange a meeting on a specific date/time and she flakes,
and probably doesn't even call you. Tell the dancer to call you on a
specific date between the hours of (give her a span of several hours). If
she calls, great. If not, no biggie. If they don't call, go about your
business and don't wait for them to call.
Q:
Do you have any advice on how to remedy this situation? I'll appreciate an
input you have for me.
Z:
There are dancers that are NEVER free because many of them don't like
being "told" when to do something. That's why they don't have regular
jobs. That's why you should let them call you. It makes them feel like
they are controlling the situation. They are happy and you're happy. If
they call when you're busy, just tell them the truth. Don't ever forget
who's boss. You have the money they need. There's plenty of good looking
girls out there for you. Don't let them flake on you ever again.
To summarize:
- Let them call you.
- Meet in a public place.
- Get the room AFTER you see them in person and make all the
arrangements.
Good luck.

Sex in Changing Room
Wed 3/21/01 12:25 AM
Q:
I'm sure everyone have fantasized about it at one point and it's probably
been asked a million times before, but for the life of me I can't get any
search engine hits on the legal risks of having sex in a changing room. On
the surface, having sex in a changing room appears to be somewhat private
with little risk. I've been told that it's illegal in California to have
video cameras in changing rooms. So, without cameras the store should not
know what's going on. And, if they make any accusations then it means
they're peeping and that should be considered invasion of privacy. So, am
I falsely leading myself to believe that it's risk free or has very little
risk involved. Or, do you know of cases where couples are issued citations
such as lewd conduct?
Z:
I am not an attorney and this is a little out of my field of expertise.
However, I would say that the risks are very low and probably near zero. I
have not heard of any cases where couples were busted for doing this. I
was even in a public dressing room at a small store with a girl and
another girl came into the dressing room and did nothing.

Working at strip clubs
Wed 3/7/01 2:37 PM
Q:
In the "Ask Z Bone" section, you answered a question about getting sex
with strippers, and you said that working at a strip club is one way that
is "guaranteed". I am not considering it, but it sounds very interesting.
Could you describe in detail exactly how that works?
Z:
Nothing in life is guaranteed but for obvious reasons, your chances
increase when you interact with dancers on a daily basis. Also, one of the
biggest barriers is dancers not perceiving you as a "customer". As a
co-worker, you are "on their side". If you are a bouncer, you are
"protecting" them from customers. If you are a DJ, you are making
customers tip the dancers. In both cases, they perceive you as a "friend"
as opposed to "foe", which is what the customer is perceived. As a
co-worker, you would not even have to work very hard at it. I know
bouncers who are married who are constantly with different dancers. Many
DJs have dancer girlfriends. Dancers know that DJs understand what dancers
do for their job and don't have to deal with a boyfriend that is overly
jealous or suspicious.
Q:
Also, what jobs are there, besides a bouncer or DJ?
Z:
Floater, manager, bartender, and cook. IMO, the best positions are DJs,
managers and bouncers, in that order. However, be careful what you wish
for. You might get it.

Been caught cheating
Sun 2/18/01 6:39 AM
Q:
Zbone, My Wife of 29 yrs has caught me seeing my dancers outside the clubs
and she is pissed. Well, she really found out about 5 months ago and I
continued to lie to her. I have fucked up my married and wanted to know
what you think I should tell her to calm her down. She knows about the
boobs, jewelry, the money, etc etc. Don`t ask how she knows but she found
out. Anyway, it`s the bottom of the ninth and I have two strikes so what
ever you come up with would be appreciated. One thing my wife is not
stupid.
Z:
First of all, I'm not a marriage counselor and I am the last person to ask
about advise on keeping a marriage. I have never been married, and do not
plan on ever getting married. Having said that, from your short
explanation, I see 3 options.
- Divorce. Yes, you'll lose half your wealth but that may make you
happy. Life is short. Be happy.
- Lie. Tell her that you were tricked into giving all those things to
the dancer. Tell her you are going through some sort of mid-life crisis
and got really mixed up. Tell her you were blackmailed. Tell her you've
been framed. If your wife doesn't want to rock the boat, or lose a
marriage, she will pretend to believe you.
- Tell the truth and ask for forgiveness. Depending on what type of
woman your wife is, this may cost you more than the divorce.
Frankly, if you are the breadwinner and call the shots, I'd use option
2. If not, or you are wife-whipped, then you might have to use option 3.
Me? I'd use option 1. Why? Because you're obviously not happy with your
marriage. If you were, you wouldn't be in this situation. Next time, have
her sign a pre-nup.

Deletion of reviews
Sat 1/27/01 5:29 AM
Q:
Zbone, How is it possble to delete reviews from your readers club reviews
section? If you aren`t doing it, who is and who determines what goes and
what stays.
Z:
Any moderator (including myself) or the person who posted the review can
delete posts on the reader review section. There is a log file that shows
what has been deleted and by whom, which I monitor. There has been about
27 posts deleted this month so far by various people (including myself).
The rules for posts on the review board are more strict than the
bulletin board. For the rules, please read:
zbone.me/hts/zrevrules.htm
Most of the time, I delete reviews that do not give any information or
ONLY talks about another review. Although I sometimes allow it,
technically, questions are not to be asked in the readers review section.
That is for the bulletin board. The reader review board is not a "chat"
section. It is ONLY for reviews.
If you are talking about the gap from August to November in the SRR
reviews, that is because there was a file corruption in that file and I
had no backup. I wrote on the bulletin board what had occurred but some
people did not seem to believe my explanation. There was nothing sinister
about the deletion. I don't even know what posts were not backed up.
If these are not the posts you are referring to, I need more
information to investigate this matter. Specifically, I need to know the
date/time of the original post (and club) and about when you think the
post was deleted. The name of the poster would also be of great help.
If you are the person that posted the reviews which you think were
improperly deleted, please let me know ASAP.

Kissing customers
Mon 1/22/01 3:06 PM
Q:
I was just wondering how common it was for a dancer to kiss a customer.
I'm not talking like a little kiss here or there, but a full-on make out
session. Does this happen frequently? This sort of happened to me the
other week and I'm wondering if I should make anything of it.
Z:
I have noticed that this is more common than it used to be. Probably
because it's getting harder to make money and the dancers have to do more.
In terms of if you should make anything of this incident, personally, I
would not make anything of it except that the dancer is trying to please
you and make money. Of course, unless she is doing it with every single
customer, she probably doesn't find you repulsive either. Does this mean
she'll go out with you? Can't hurt to ask her but read my FAQ before doing
so.

Q and Z's -- 1995,
1996,
1997, 1998,
1999, 2000, 2001, 2002
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