Governor Takes Controversial Stance Supporting Legalized Prostitution

April 1, 2007

By SAXBEAT, Staff Writer

Governor Schwarzenegger making announcement.

(LDN) -- Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, in Saturday's speech to the California Lawmakers' Association, surprised many in the audience with a direct call for the legalization of prostitution, stating that he was gathering signatures for a proposition on the 2008 ballot.

"We are spending too much money finding, arresting, prosecuting and incarcerating men and women who are simply trying to address their needs," the governor said. "They are consenting adults, and there is no reason for it."

The governor went on to say that properly regulated, as it is in Nevada, legal brothels can be a source of income for the state, as well as a safe and healthy outlet for adults. "We've had legal brothels in parts of Austria, as well as all over Europe for years," he said. "Most people think it's only in Amsterdam, but almost every country in the E.U. supports some form of legal paid sex."

The governor specifically mentioned strip clubs as a reason to legalize prostitution. "Everybody knows what goes on in there," Schwarzenegger said. "In your big and small strip clubs, from San Diego, to L.A. to San Francisco. The customers know it, the dancers know it, the police know it, and the community knows it too. If we regulate it, we can tax it, and provide income for the state, income that can be used for everything from education, to abatement programs, to programs to provide condoms to customers, to programs to make sure those condoms don't litter our neighborhood sidewalks."

The governor also advocated legal brothels as a way to drive up falling state tourism numbers. "Let's face it," he said, "People go to Las Vegas to gamble. They don't go for the brothels. The brothels prosper because they are there, but have you ever seen them? They are nasty, run-down trailers. California can do a better job, we can have cleaner, more inviting brothels. We can blow Nevada out of the water. We can blow Amsterdam out of the water. We can become the pleasure capital of the world. We already have the best weather, the best food, the best beaches. And we have the best women. Now we can have the best brothels."

Anticipating dissent from his own party as well as Democrats, Schwarzenegger finished his speech by declaring, "If anyone wants to counter me on this issue, I want him to prove to me that he has never been to a prostitute. Of course, the women in both parties will decry this as sexist rhetoric, but what's is sexist to me is denying that the current enforcement prostitution is not working, while allowing women across the state to be victimized every day."

Representatives of both California parties declined to make on-the-record statements, other than saying voters would have a chance to decide in 2008. Outside the state, politicians across the country denied comment, saying it would be inappropriate to comment on a decision not yet facing California voters.

A spokesperson for attorney Roger Diamond, who often represents the sex industry in California, said the attorney was pleased to hear of the governor's plans. "Mr. Diamond has always stated he is like a dentist," the spokesperson said, "in that he hopes to put himself out of business by doing good work. He just never thought it would happen under a Republican administration."

In related news, the governor's wife, Maria Shriver, declared today that she has legally separated from the governor, and will be spending the next "several months" with family on Martha's Vineyard. She could not be reached for comment.

In more related news, both the Democratic and Republican parties announced plan to make California the site of all future party conventions. In a rare joint statement, representatives from the two parties said the timing with the governor's announcement was coincidental, and that by having their conventions in the golden state, they hoped to influence western voters, who have been increasingly apolitical in the last three elections.

City of West Los Angeles to Install Used Condom Receptacles

April 1, 2007

By SAXBEAT, Staff Writer

Demonstration of new condom receptacle to be installed near strip clubs..

(AP) West Los Angeles - The City of West Los Angeles, fed up over what it describes as "indiscriminate condom disposal" by strip club customers, has voted to install special trash receptacles for condoms at key locations throughout the city.

"We realized we were spending so much money trying to shut the strip clubs down, and that wasn't working," said city councilman Mike Devine. "The clubs kept on winning, and our residents had to continue to put up with the sight of used condoms littering their front yards and sidewalks everywhere they looked."

West L.A. Homeowners Association President Janice Fricke said she was delighted at the city council's solution. "Dog owners have to clean up after their pets, why shouldn't strip club-goers?" she asked. "By putting these receptacles in high-traffic areas near strip clubs and night clubs, we take away the excuse patrons have that there is no place to dispose of their used condoms."

A motion for the receptacles to be paid for by condom manufacturers, who would also have condom vending machines built into the receptacle was denied by the council after a parents' group complained that such a move would make condoms too easily accessible to children. The same group also also raised a concern that such a machine would encourage prostitution, by making condoms too easily available to street walkers.

"We may vote on that matter again," said Devine. "While we don't want to seem to encourage child sex or prostitution, I think almost any rational person would agree that if either of those things happen, it should be protected sex." Although the receptacles are not pricey, Devine said, maintaining and emptying them is, and the proceeds from sale of condoms and sales tax would help to reduce those costs. "Maintenance is key," Devine said. "If the receptacles are overflowing with used condoms, that is just as bad as having the condoms on the sidewalk."

If the receptacle program is successful, the city of Los Angeles is looking to adopt it for its own problem areas, including Sepulveda Blvd. in the Valley, Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood, Lincoln Boulevard in Venice, Raymer St. in Van Nuys.

Cupertino, CA -- The iRobot Corporation announced today the release of a new product to help beautify city streets: The Conba condom vacuuming robot. Following on the heals of its very successful Roomba and Scooba cleaning robots, the Conba is intended for city streets, where its spectrographic sensors seek out latex and suck it into the automated disinfecting chamber. A consortium of strip clubs has announced a pre-sale order of 1,000 units. A discarded condom about to be sucked for the second time, this time by a Conba being demonstrated at the Electronic Cleaning Convention in Las Vegas.

"A large part of our success will no doubt hinge on the Good Samaritan factor," said Devine. "Let's face it, guys who throw their used condoms on the sidewalk after they leave a strip club aren't likely to change their behavior. However, we are hoping that having a nearby receptacle will encourage residents passing through the area to dispose of the condoms instead. So, the receptacles will also dispense paper towels to encourage that behavior."

The only opposition to the receptacle installation during debate at the city council meeting came from a man who identified himself only as "John," calling himself a concerned member of a group he names as "Customers and Johns for Stronger Privacy Laws."

"This is obviously a remnant of the Patriot Act era of law enforcement," he said, referring to the former U.S. Attorney General. "I have no doubt these receptacles will be used to gather DNA samples and harass private citizens who are having legal consenting sex, as well as those seeing adult service providers. What's next? Are they going to offer to erase the porn from our hard drives for us? Just because some of the 9/11 terrorists hung out in strip clubs, they will use that as an excuse to get secret warrants to empty the boxes and take DNA samples."

Fricke responded that the unidentified speakers comments were, "Simply ridiculous. If we wanted to gather DNA, we could just scrape down the walls of the lap dance booths." She continued, "Besides, if they don't want their DNA gathered, they can just keep their condoms in their pockets until they get home. It's simple etiquette"