California Bans Strip Clubs
April 1, 1999

By SAXBEAT

SACRAMENTO — In a stunning defeat for California strip club businesses, Governor Gray Davis signed into law Senate Bill 6969, the California Strip Club Regulation Act. The Act, which takes effect immediately, places severe new restrictions on adult entertainment businesses, and is expected to bring a severe downturn in the rapid growth of topless bars and nude clubs in the state.

"I take great pleasure as governor in protecting our children," Davis said. "This act will ensure a safe environment in all of our communities, and send the message to our schools and neighborhoods that we will not tolerate prostitution masquerading as safe, clean fun."

SB6969, which was co-sponsored in bi-partisan fashion by Senators Jerry Rubin (D, Santa Monica) and Bob Dornan (R, Fullerton), legislates that all touching between employees and customers in adult entertainment establishments is completely forbidden. Additionally, nude and topless dancers are not allowed to accept tips from customers, must remain 10 feet away from customers even when clothed, and may not drink alcoholic beverages or smoke cigarettes while working. A second phase of the bill, which takes effect in one year, will require all club employees, including bouncers, managers and DJs to register their names, addresses and phone numbers with the vice division of the presiding police department in their jurisdiction. Employees will be required to wear photo/name tags while at their place of work.

"Finally, we've got a bill that will stand a Constitutional test," said Rubin. "Every provision of this law has been reviewed and found compliant with previous rulings of both state and federal Supreme Courts. I feel confident that not only will the clubs be unable to fight us on this, but we can send a strong message to our children that we are looking out for them as the new millennium dawns."

Dornan added, "This bill will drive a nail into the coffins of the sleaze-bag club operators, the two-bit hookers who ply their slimy trade in our fair burgs, and the trench-coated customers who turn our neighborhoods into war zones where even a grandmother walking down the street fears being accosted and asked for a lap dance."

Across the state, club lawyers and owners expressed resignation that the state had finally won. "That's it," said Jim Mitchell, owner of the infamous Mitchell Bros. Theater in San Francisco. "We're closing our doors. There's no way we can stay in business given this law and the current political climate." Indeed, Mitchell's theater was padlocked as of last night. A dancer arriving late for her shift, who asked to be identified only as "Meela," was surprised to find she no longer had a job.

"That sucks," she said when told of the new law. "I guess now I'll have to go back to turning tricks on Market Street."

"The Nazis have finally won," said Millard Frottage, regional manager of the Deja Vu chain's California clubs. "Our lawyers have looked this over and said we can't fight it. I guess we'll be converting our clubs to sports bars."

Even "family style" restaurant Hooters, where there is no nudity or toplessness, is affected. "According to this law," said Nancy Yarrow, manager of hiring for the San Diego restaurant, "Our waitresses are underdressed. These are good college girls who work for tips, and they have told us they won't register with vice, so we plan to change the dress code to require our girls to wear slacks or ankle-skirts and turtlenecks from now on."

Only Johnny Choke, a manager at several south Los Angeles clubs, including the Jet Strip in Lennox, said his clubs had a plan to fight the law. "The law doesn't allow customers and employees to touch," Choke said. "It says nothing about employees and employees, or customers and customers." We're looking at either hiring everyone who walks in the door, or making everyone a customer, including the dancers. Our lawyers will let us know."

Dornan was not fazed. "They can do what they want. We've won," he said. "We'll be aggressively enforcing and prosecuting this law."

Enforcement will be as broad as possible, Dornan said. "This kills lap dancing. This kills table dancing. At 10 feet from the stage, it pretty much kills stage dancing too. If we can get the manpower, I'm even hoping we can enforce this at the beach," said Dornan.

Referring to the fact that SB6969 defines violation of the law as a "strike" in California's "three-strike" law, Dornan added, "No one outside of a few pathetic losers is going to risk life in prison for touching a naked woman," Dornan said. "I've instructed Orange County police that if a waitress' hand even brushes a customer's hand while she's giving change, to haul them both in. We'll shut these clubs down if we have to arrest half the male and female populations of the county."

In a related story, publisher Larry Flynt announced that he had obtained video tape of both Dornan and Rubin entering strip clubs, taken within the last two years. "Strike one," Flynt said, laughing.

Both politicians offices refused comment, saying only that the senators were conducting "research."

Lap Dances Linked to Impotence
April 1, 1999

Reprinted from JAMA, the Journal of the American Medical Association, April 1999
Provided to Z Bone Publishing by Saxbeat

Sources of Testicular Damage Linked to External Contact Sources
Milton Grisberg, M.D. - Urologist, Van Nuys, CA

DESCRIPTION
This report describes changes to patient management procedures for certain male sexual dysfunction. Procedural changes were based upon an initial sample size of 23 male patients, all of who visited office in November of 1997 with complaints of acute and/or chronic sexual dysfunction. Symptomatology included prostatitis, epididymitis, erectile dysfunction (impotence), loss of sensation, and inability to urinate. Follow-up sampling of nearly 1,500 patients has occurred since the initial sample.

Patient age ranged from 18 to 67. 65% of patients reported no other health problems; 17% were alcoholics; 13% suffered from clinical depression; and 5% were diagnosed with bipolar disorder. (Note these latter numbers are slightly higher than general population.) 49% were married.

In the initial grouping, all patients had been sexually active, however, only one of the patients had consummated intercourse within the last six (6) months. None of the married patients reported intercourse within the previous year.

Patient history indicated no statistically significant commonality in the sample base. Normally, I would not have drawn any conclusions regarding the reported symptoms, despite the fact that all patients made appointments within a two-week period, a somewhat high rate for my practice for this particular set of symptoms.

STUDY
Penile examination of the patients revealed acute dermatitis, contusion and even laceration on the top and bottom of the penile shaft. The direction of the abrasion was parallel to the direction of the shaft longitude, and centered between the head and shaft of the penis. In eight (8) of the patients, there was evidence of blistering and rawness somewhat akin to "chronic textile abrasion" (rug burn).

Office recall was requested of all of the initial 23 patients, and during the re-questioning, it was determined that all had attended a local strip club establishment prior to making the initial appointment to see me, and all had participated in what is called a "lap dance."

22 of the initial 23 patients agreed to participate in a study, which I anticipated would allow me greater ability to treat their symptoms. (The non-participant suffered from chronic bi-polar mental disorder and had committed suicide in the interim.)

MRI tests were ordered, and the patients were administered pelvic X-rays.

In all cases, MRI tests revealed significant vasorestriction in the penile tissue. Blood flow was severely diminished, causing acute flacidity, erection problems and increased likelihood of infection leading to epididymitis [inflammation of the tubes carrying semen from the testicles]. Apparent links between prostatitis and lap dancing are unclear, and will require further study. In a noteworthy side note, four (4) of the patients who had reported visiting San Francisco strip clubs also suffered from rectodermal abrasion and hemorrhoids.

TREATMENT
Figures below are based on the larger sample group.

It is expected a slim majority of patients will heal normally with time, however, some more chronic effects were noted.

Patients were prescribed Viagra, and results contraindicated treatment with this drug. Only 1% of patients responded favorably to Viagra, and of those patients, 52% described their erections as "painful."

One patient's loss of blood flow was so chronic, gangrene set in, and his penis had to be surgically removed to prevent the infection from spreading.

Three patients required penile implants.

As many as 40% of the patients may not regain normal erectile function in the short term. These patients are being monitored for possible future treatment, surgical intervention, or implants.

My office recommended an immediate cessation in lap dance activity for all patients, regardless of prognosis. For those patients who were reluctant to follow those recommendations, we prescribed a 500 day hiatus from lap dances. It is recommended that more severely affected patients refrain from sexual activity entirely (including masturbation) for a period of one year. Daily potassium nitrate therapy (PNT) is recommended for those patients to minimize possible occurrence of erection.

CONCLUSIONS
The conclusion of the research trial indicates that while the penis is designed to be stimulated to achieve arousal, sexual pleasure, and orgasm, it is not meant to support the weight of a human body, as is the case with "lap dancing." While historical records indicate that "frottage" (sexual stimulation through the clothing) has always been a popular form of commercial sexual activity, it was usually intended as foreplay. The increasing availability and popularity of lap dancing and the current presence of social factors limiting or preventing intercourse as a follow-up are leading more and more men to attempt to reach ejaculation through frottage. This development, combined with the particular physical mechanics of lap dancing (which, as the name implies, is accomplished while seated, as opposed to more traditionally vertical and horizontal frottage), may be leading to a pandemic of penile injury.

In-depth, anonymized interviews (conducted via two-way mirrors in darkened facilities) revealed that the patients either considered themselves strip club regulars, or were celebrating a special occasion, such as a bachelor party. Participation in lap dancing ranged from three (3) to twelve (12) times per evening, on average, sometimes repeating the activity for as many as four (4) evenings in a row. One patient, who had participated in 27 consecutive dances, admitted to participating in a form of contest, attempting to "Z Out," as he called it, or get 48 lap dances in a row. This particular patient required surgical intervention to save his penis, and received an erectile pump in order to allow him to achieve normal sexual function. The significance of the number 48 is unknown, and considered beyond the scope of this report, other than to note that several of the patients mentioned this number as why they thought the number of dances they participated in would be safe. It seems to be derived from some type of common medical urban legend in the strip club community.

Interestingly, several patients described themselves as "addicted" to lap dances, expressing reluctance to cease the activity despite the health risks. Even the patient who had to be castrated admitted to returning to a strip club as soon as his wound healed and the bandages were removed. This factor (which I have labelled "X Factor") may make treatment of chronic lap dance injuries difficult for physicians.

RECOMMENDATIONS
Findings support recommendations against frequent or regular lap dancing for all men. There is every indication that lap dancing, either over the long term or in brief, intense periods of activity, will cause impotence and other penile dysfunction. While it is quite possible that not all men who get lap dances suffer from eventual impotence, there is a strong case to be made that many instances of chronic or irreversible impotence are caused by lap dancing.

As a preventive solution, physicians should make dermal examination of the penis a part of annual patient physical examinations for all male patients over the age of 18. It is the recommendation of this doctor that the AMA review its position regarding the legalizing or decriminalization of prostitution, as a large number of these patients claim to be participating in lap dances as a substitute for illegal sex.

My office is in the process of preparing a pamphlet for the AMA called, "Lap Dancing and You: A Guide to Safe Frottage," which will be available for physicians to display in examination rooms or deliver to patients in the second quarter of 1999.

Charge That Lap Dance!
April 1, 1999

LOS ANGELES — Didn't bring enough cash for that hot lap dance? Tired of getting lap dances and not earning any credit for it? Would you like to write-off lap dances as a business expense?

Well, wait no more! Z Bone Publishing now offers a new credit card for lap dancing enthusiasts. Charge all your lap dances to your new credit card! No more having to go to the ATM machine every time you are asked, "Would you like a lap dance?"

If that's not enough, every time you get a lap dance at any of our participating strip clubs in Los Angeles, earn credit towards a Super High Mileage Plus Dance®. Once you are a member, you will get details regarding where to redeem your earned credit lap dances.

As a added benefit, at the end of the year, you will be sent a summary for the year with all the charges discreetly renamed to legitimate business expenses. You can use this to writing-off your lap dance expenses.

You may have already received a pre-approved qualification form by mail. If so, simply fill out the blanks and return it to us now! If you have not received one, visit a participating strip club and ask for a Z Bone High Mileage Plus application, fill it out and submit it back to the manager. Within one business day, you will be notified by email if you have been approved.

Z Bone To Cooperate with LAPD Vice
April 1, 1998

LOS ANGELES — In a plea bargain with the FBI and Justice Department, Z Bone has agreed to cooperate with LAPD Vice to help bust dancers that are doing high mileage lap dances. This unusual and unprecedented agreement was reached between the Justice Department and Z Bone Publishing attorneys when the FBI brought charges of copyright infringement, interstate transporting of minors and kidnapping charges against Z Bone.

During an interview while still incarcerated before the agreement was reached, Z Bone quipped, "They framed me. I don't like narcing on anybody but I can't stay in this hell hole any longer. The laps I'm getting from these inmates suck the big one. A lot of them have really bony asses and it hurts my groin."

Court papers show that in the agreement, Z Bone will provide LAPD with information to help bust the high mileage clubs along with the highest mileage dancers. So far, 2 clubs and 9 dancers have already been victims of this new alliance with LAPD and are awaiting trial. It is unclear at the time of writing if all ZBB posts and ZChat information will be monitored by LAPD vice.

LAPD chief Bernard Parks was unavailable for comment but a spokeswoman for his office released this statement: "We are pleased with the results of the agreement with this case and are expecting to continue to clean up Los Angeles and reduce and eventually eliminate all strippers and strip clubs as we are doing with prostitution and drug dealers."