About This Site

• With San Francisco being the hub of strip-club-related internet traffic and ASS-C, it's kinda curious that nobody built a site for the SF Bay Area scene, especially with successful sites covering the regional action in Southern California and Las Vegas. The Bay has needed more in-depth coverage too, something less transient than Usenet, and more focused on the clubs and dancers than ass-c.com. So here it is, for better or for worse, even if I'm doing it from the comfort of my palacial Beverly Hills estate 400 miles away.

A Foreign Language

• You may find words or phrases throughout this site that seem to make to sense at all. For the old glossary, click here. For the new one, click here.

Your Humble Webmeister

• In response to the "who the hell are you" emails, I'm Laar, master of my domain (though certainly not in the Seinfeld sense). I accidently stumbled into the SC world a few years ago, kinda liked it, and decided to stay. I didn't exactly write the book on strip clubbing, but I did write the original Glossary of ASSCing, and I've been perving in NoCal long enough to know my way around. I've been an ASSC regular (or irregular) for about three years.

  I'll try to provide information of interest to both customers and dancers.

For Club Customers

• For my fellow addicts, there are detailed club reviews, rating the quality and nastiness of each club. (Click here for an explanation of how clubs are rated.) Each review has (or will soon have) a map showing the location of the club, as well as pictures of any dancers from that club who have posted their profiles.

For Dancers

• For dancers, the club reviews include stage fees and tipouts, and I'll include whatever other information I can get. If you have any info on a club, please email me with it. Also, dancers from anywhere, not just NoCal, are invited to post their profiles on this site. (It's a quick, easy, fill-in-the-blanks form, and hopefully it will give customers a reason to seek you out.) Click here to check out some of our current profiles; or click here to submit your own profile.

San Francisco for Newbies

• As a whole, Northern California is a pretty unremarkable place for strip clubs. The one exception, the notable exception, is a tiny section of the tiny city of San Francisco, where the city's liberal sexual attitudes (and current political powers) make for an adult scene unlike anywhere else in the US.

  Sure, other places like Tampa have their hot spots with stunning women, but in San Francisco the scene is much more a reflection of the city's sexual history and culture, whereas in other cities it is merely tolerated. Sexual sophistication from almost any other American city is prepubescence here.

  In San Francisco, physical attractiveness is different from the ordinary, Playboy-Baywatch-Miss-America style of traditional beauty. While there is certainly no shortage of "traditionally" gorgeous women here, there also are those whose beauty is an acquired taste, those with alternative looks. Jade Blue Eclipse, a fairly well-known fixture of the local scene, is a perfect example. She's stunningly different, and just plain stunning. Learn to see that and you'll love this place that much more.

  Aside from the sex scene, there is a hell of a lot to love about San Francisco. Though things like food come to mind. I even like the weather, but I'm probably in the minority there.

Is everything you know about a club included in the review?

• Depends on the club, but usually not. If you email me that you paid five dollars for anal sex with girl X in room Y at club Z, then, no, I'm not going to put that on the club review. But if I get enough email about X, Y and Z, it will be reflected in the club's review, thought not in explicit detail. The reviews are a compilation of my personal experience with a club and the experiences of those who email me. Your experiences in any club will vary wildly according to things like your attitude, personality, hygiene, looks, how much $MONEY$ you're spending, and how well you know the whole game. Drunk, smelly, ugly jerks don't have much fun. Neither to chiseled studs, if they're clueless or arrogant.

Will you tell me more in private email?

• Probably not, unless I know you personally.

What if I disagree with a club review?

• Put up or shut up. Current reviews are the most important thing I need here, so keep them coming. There are reply forms at the end of each club review page. This is how I keep this site current, so tell me everything you've done, and everything you know, all the gory details; I'll clean it up and update the reviews accordingly. Also remember that no two people have exactly the same experience.

Can I put a link to this site from mine?

• Absolutely. Click here for info on how to do it.