My quixotic quest
to encounter one of SoCal's most highly praised dancers,
DVNH's Alexia, was delivered earlier this afternoon. I'll
incorporate my impressions of her into an overall review of
the club.
I have taken to heart my recently initiated  posse training
and limit myself to a strict regimen of low  impact
clubbing (well, more or less  ). I realized this
afternoon that I'm not ready for any master classes because
the news that Alexia was surely at her station was all it took
to compel me to break training. I've been searching for her
for a couple of years or better but I wasn't gonna find her at
my usual HT/TL perving grounds and certainly not where the s ply
their art. My rare visits to DVNH have been at night when
Bianca always seems to keep a firm grip on my attentions and
Alexia is counting the afternoon's take at home.
Wednesday is my favorite day to visit DVNH because the concept
of paying $30 at the door for refillable drinks and $10 lap
dances works out mathematically for me. However, if you plan
to indulge exclusively in the club's famous "bed
dances", be sure to bring the free pass in the L.A.
Weekly and just pay $10 at the door for the drink, because bed
dances are NOT discounted.
Entering the club at 3:30 there was nary a human to be found
of either gender - being $30 down already had be wondering
just a little. I shuttled back and forth to the rail...not
knowing what Alexia looks like meant I needed to put myself in
the line of hustle so I would be able to make her
acquaintance. A request to the waitress to send her my way
would have worked too, but that wouldn't be as much fun as
interviewing all the dancers passing by.
My anxiety upon entering was happily relieved as one very
beautiful dancer after another took the stage. They just seem
to come out of the woodwork, or the boothwork, to magically
appear for a 2 song set. It was the international cast that
the club is known for...a few latinas, an asian, couple of
russkies, even a beautiful nice jewish goil working as Brenda,
and more than a few caucasoid dreamgirls. I was not expecting
this much eye popping scenery and started to settle into a
real nice time. There may have been 7 customers total when I
arrived and only one other genius at the rail. We two
railbirds were well rewarded by the dancers onstage in return
for our modest generosity.
Still, not a sign that anybody in the house answers to
"Alexia". After shuttling back to my table I was
assualted by a petite latina bombshell a couple of notches
older than the rest of the cast. She was attractive, but the
least of what I was seeing. Her assault had all the indicia of
the ultra-high mileage dancer - it was nearly Bianca-like....lewd
and licentious. However, unlike Bianca, this young woman of
Spain was able to carry on a conversation for 12 seconds
without sticking her tongue in my ear or elsewhere. However,
12 seconds was about her limit (she's still got Bianca beat by
11 seconds). She had my attention fully and I agreed to some
opening action with her despite the fear of opening with a
sure fire closer. Kayla's dances were as expected, as much
mileage as can be expected west of City of Industry and east
of San Francisco. I perservered and after 8 really nice rounds
I quit to resume my quest for Alexia.
More beautiful dancers onstage, more chats with cold callers
passing by, still no meeting or mention of Alexia. Now
believing that the guy who took my phone inquiry is a very
mean liar, I ask a waitress if Alexia is present and she
restores the credibility of the guy on the phone. She's around
somewhere I am assured.
Now I am joined by a statuesque sweetheart with the face of a
Playboy Centerfold. She will be Ginger of Orange County way.
And that seems right. Completely delightful low key young lady
blessed with way more than her share of nature's gifts top to
bottom. Could I refuse? Needing to preserve my Alexia fund, I
dragged myself kicking and screaming away from Ginger after
just a few rounds. Lower mileage than Kayla by far (of
course), but still very pleasing. At conclusion I told her
that I was on the trail of Alexia, and Ginger pointed her
right out to me and even tried to get her attention...Alexia
was the only other dancer doing a lap at the time.
I am finally in the place and time to meet the legend. Back in
front, I await her exit from the lap booths. She emerges with
a happy subject and I get my first good look. Well, I did say
it was a quixotic quest. In some respects, this turned out NOT
to be the girl I was dreaming of. The buzz in my ear from
multiple sources has been that she's the finest combination of
looks, personality and mileage that can be found in these
parts, and in a latin model that I score extra for. She's
average height, but petite of structure with the exception of
a lovely pair of coconuts. Mid-length dark hair, and a face
that is to these eyes, well......just a bit mousy. My friends
know how much I like the mice however, so this wasn't a
turnoff at all. However, I was expecting something more like
say....Ms Universe or Salma Hayek.
Needing to not let her get away, I did what I normally would
not do in a strip club...approach her as she wiggles free from
her last customer and his friends who I feared would patronize
her one by one. They did not and she was mine. However, my
taking the lead betrayed my eagerness, and she took advantage
by depriving me of the sort of getting acquainted chat that I
usually would insist upon. It was right to the back and it
would have required an open field tackle to slow her progress
towards the booths. A few more gentle suggestions did not do
the trick so I lost this round.
However, I enjoyed a rousing victory in the lap booth - though
she hadn't lived up to my expectations re: appearance and
personality, she more than fulfilled my hopes in the booth.
Her art extended beyond simply high mileage and by that I do
not mean "extra" mileage. I did six dances with her
and in each one she introduced a creative element that in all
my years I have not experienced before. Beyond considerations
of ZBB discretion, to describe her moves would not do them
justice. The element of surprise was partially what made them
work so well...so I wouldn't want to ruin the suspense for
future Alexia patrons. At the conclusion, she tore away from
me as if having heard that she needed to claim a Lotto grand
prize within the hour across town. So in this respect, she
disappointed again. However, I won't judge her on personality
unless its the same way next time...after all, the girl seems
to have every guy who walks in the club on her customer list
so there was good cause for her haste.
I did manage to confirm her schedule...Tues, Wed and Friday
afternoons. Looking ahead, I inquired her rate for 30 minutes
of unhinged sensual madness in a DVNH bed, and as expected she
charges the top scale $140.
I'm usually more comfortable in the lower tech more grungy
environs of Randy's Evil Empire (HT & TL). But there is
nothing bad I can say about DVNH, especially on $10/dance
Wednesdays. On this afternoon there was always a dancer on
stage, and they didn't bust my chops with some of their usual
dumbass conventions like the DJ pleading and cajoling for loud
audience response as if it were some MTV spring break party.
Beautiful women, nice stage work, miniscule "buy the lady
a drink?" hustle (at least this afternoon), and great
laps to songs played long enough to justify a $10 cost (my
personal experience has been that songs are cut more severely
on Tuesday when the deal is 2 for 1 dances...also $30 at the
door).
You can even pickup a copy of the informative but
underdistributed Private Dancer newspaper on the way out...and
you may need something to carry. |
