| Announcements |
1/31/2000 12:38pm |
 Saxbeat |
| Subject: Rambleday TOMORROW
(Tuesday) |
ANNOUNCEMENT!
The first annual ZPosse Rambleday is announced for Tuesday,
February 1, 2000.
In honor of Benn, who has declined the offer of a Benn-con for
his birthday, everybody who posts to this board is invited to
ramble.
Make it a good ramble. Make it a bad ramble. Ramble about one
thing, or about many things or about nothing. Make it
analytical. Make it pointless. Make it humorous or dramatic.
Make it entirely original, or see how well you can copy Benn's
inimitable style. Fantasize, or ramble truthfully.
It can even suck!
Just ramble.
I'm posting this now so that those of you who like to analyze
can prepare. The rest of you can post spontaneously.
See you on the 1st.
Saxbeat
P.S. This is not to be confused with the 2/17 Ramblecon now
being planned.
P.P.S. I won't ramble about cheating!  |
|
 
| Announcements |
1/31/2000 3:55pm |
saxbeat |
| Subject: How to Ramble? |
I get lots of letters. In
addition to megabytes of e-mail, the post office dumps sacks
of mail on my porch every day.
Lately, a lot of my mail has asked, "Saxbeat, I really
want to ramble in honor of Benn's birthday for Rambleday, but
I don't know how. Could you please teach me?"
Actually, the answer is "No." Ramblers are born, not
made, and I'm afraid I'm not a rambler. But we might all learn
something from watching the expert: Benn himself.
...Rule #1: A ramble is a bunch of seemingly disconnected
thoughts.
...Start all your thoughts with an ellipsis, like this. That
puts you in a ramblin' mood.
...If you aren't sure what to write about, go to a club.
...If that doesn't help, read the ZBB or login to ZChat.
...Keep your thoughts short!
...It helps if in some way, your last thought ties back to the
first one.
...If 90 percent of your ramble is the god's-honest truth,
people will believe the other 10 percent if you don't push too
hard.
...Bizarre dancer behavior is always a good ramble topic.
...So is your wife. Especially if you've pissed her off by
doing Stupid Male Tricks.
...At least one thought should be an inside joke with someone
you've been to a club with recently.
...At least one thought should be about the glorious past.
...If you're going to tease people, do it in this order:
Saxbeat, Deuce, Chokemaster, Tish, any  , other
pseudo-intellectuals, as needed.
...Don't tease JW. He's too thin-skinned.
...Complain about one thing, but only one thing, even if you
mention it five times.
...Trash Rhino Van Nuys at lease once.
...You may put one brief paragraph before your ramble to set
the scene, but if you have a closing paragraph, it should just
be another thought. |
|
| Anything
Goes |
1/31/2000 11:21pm |
jjackflash |
| Subject: Pre-Ramble |
[jjackflash]-->
...Well, seeing as how I could either post my ramble late
tomorrow (after most folks are done with ZBB for the day) or
now (i.e., before the official Kickoff to RambleDay) I chose
the latter...
...Isn't there some saying about the early bird getting the
worm? If I were a bird and I was out early, I don't think I'd
settle for worms...
...My favorite Ramble of all time is from an old
episode of Saturday Night Live, hosted by Steve Martin (circa
1976.) In the opening monologue bit he played his banjo (as he
often did.) He was singing, "  I'm a
rambler....ramblin' man...I'm
ramblin...R-A-M-B-L-I-N........apostrophe. "
...Now that I think about it, Ramblin' seems to be a favorite
subject for songwriters and musicians. Just think of how many
songs there are about rambling...
...Ramblin' Man (Allman Bros. Band)
...Ramble On (Led Zeppelin)
...Ramblin' Gamblin' Man (Bob Seger - not sure if that's the
name of the song or if he wrote it, but that's the main
refrain.)
...or references to rambling (e.g., Zeppelin's Babe, I'm Gonna
Leave You. - "I ain't jokin', woman, I got to
ramble...")
...Has anybody here ever driven - or even had a ride in - a
Nash Rambler?
...I don't think I've ever heard the Allman Bros. at a strip
club. Of course, an Allman Bros. tune would probably count as
a 52-4-1 at SRVN.
...I have heard Bob Seger, though. In fact, one of my weirdest
sc experiences was seeing a dancer strut her stuff to
"Still the Same." I just found the lyrics very
strange for that atmosphere.
...Speaking of which, I consider it a minor miracle these days
if I recognize more than one song an hour at a strip club
(apart from having heard the song previously at a sc.) And a
sign that something is seriously amiss in the universe if I
actually like any of the songs I hear these days.
...For once, the second half of the Super Bowl was more
interesting than the first. I guess this really is the
year of the Ram(ble)...
...Am I the only one who was reminded of Tammy Faye Bakker
every time they showed Kurt Warner's wife during the game?
...the dot.com's of the world may be where the  is
today, but their commercials don't hold a candle to good ol' 
ads...
...and if I make this post any longer I just might be able to
post it after it officially becomes RambleDay! |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 12:46am |
meth |
| Subject: RAMBLE #1--i'm
talking gibberish |
...it's officially Ramble
time, and i dunno what the heck to say...
...this must be the right topic to post this topicless ramble,
because any topic means there's no topic...
...1st of all, here is a case
for Benn and his perfected rambling technique...
...for a long time, i've been wanting to philosophize about
why i or any other guy develops an addiction to strip clubs...
...hmm, why do guys like me love going to SCs, i wonder...
...1) virtually no chance of rejection, 2) no commitments or
promises to keep or break, 3) scandalous outfits and behavior,
4) fantasy that your ATF dancer thinks you are her ATF
customer
...hmm, how could an addiction to SCs be harmful to me, i
wonder...
...1) financial and emotional drain, 2) prolonged exposure to
an environment that fosters "fake" relationships and
"pretended" love, 3) dependency on dancers for
physical and emotional fulfillment, 4) being one of 300
unfortunate dumbasses who fall in love with the same dancer
...you idiot--how can you complain about "fake"
relationships and "pretended" love in an
establishment based on  
and ?...
...that  up there was a rhetorical question, BTW...
...but is it stupid and unrealistic to fall in  with a
dancer?...
...oh yeah, did i mention...i'm in with a
dancer  ...will somebody please  me?... |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 1:08am |
oldtimer |
| Subject: Ramble on, bro... |
...after reading jackflash's
great preramble, I was reminded of Ramblin Jack Elliot. An
obscure but excellent Ramblin Man for the 60's.
...and what about Baba Ram(blin) Das. I believe JF left him
out as well.
...Tammy Faye was ranting today on TV and yes there is a
resemblance to Mrs. Kurt Warner. There seems to be a trailer
park in each of their pasts that has resulted in poorly
porportioned hairdos.
...Hairdos reminds me of the Golden Globes. I was wondering
how someone as old, haggard, and down right ugly as Joan
Rivers gets the job of critiquing all of the rich and famous.
In spite of my dislike of her, she did have some great
stingling lines on her show on E mostly having to do with
gravity and the tits of Minnie Driver and Melanie Griffith. In
Melanie's case, I can excuse her because she is nursing right
now. Camryn Manheim however has no excuse for wearing a skin
tight dress.
...speaking of E, isnt Howard Stern possibly the son of Joan
Rivers...2 New Yorkers, both disgusting, yet immensely
popular. Go figure.
...back in the 60's I remember seeing Carol Doda for the 1st
time...I thought to myself, here is a woman that aint thinking
about the future much...ever hear of a thing called gravity?
...speaking of the future, I wonder if the merger mania will
result in only 2 or 3 strip club companies. I was imagining
the Media companies buying so much that eventually they
invaded the SC biz and started gobbling them up and giving
each one a theme...SRI would be the flagship store and would
have a High Mileage theme...they could use the cars from all
of the future Hard Rocks that will go bankrupt at their
entries...and all of the lap booths could be the back seats of
old 50s cars...on the darkside of the theme shops would be
SRVN which would feature every bad bouncer that was ever shown
on TV...Mr T would work on Sat nites. No one would ever get
in. You would pay the cover and be thrown out of the side door
with 2 of those miniture water bottles that they give you as
souvenirs.
...Well, my ramblin days are over now. As the oldtimer, its
time to grab the walker and head to the john and the LA
Times...but at least I have my memories.
OT |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 5:44am |
Z
Bone |
| Subject: I've never rambled
before... |
… I've come to the
conclusion that the 3 phases of strip clubbing are: 1) Worship
dancers, 2) Find out dancers are just people, 3) Hate all
dancers.
… I've been watching a lot of "based on a true
story" movies lately. I recently watched "Patch
Adams" on video and now "Hurricane". Was
"Toy Story 2" based on a true toy story?
… Why did Saxbeat decide that we had to do this rambling
this? Just because we like Benn? Can't we just send Benn an
e-card or something? This seems like a lot of work.
… Years ago, I related very closely to the character Travis
Bickel in "Taxi Driver". Some people thought that
was a warning sign that I might go postal. They were right.
… When I was younger, I found it fascinating to examine and
take everything apart that was new. I had to know the inner
workings of every operating system that came out. It was the
same with dancers. I wanted to get to know each and everyone
and what made them tick. Today, when a new operating system
comes out, I just cringe. Same with dancers.
… Speaking of dancers, never try version 1.0.
… I think I'm starting to hear voices. I don't know if it's
just in my brain or if I have a hearing problem. So far, the
voice just tells me to do things that I was going to do
anyway. I wonder what I should do when the voice tells me to
do something I don't want to do. I think Joan of Arc started
this way. But so did "Son of Sam." I would never
listen to my dog. Unless he was making a lot of sense.
… Speaking of dogs, customers are like dogs and dancers are
like cats.
… I've been experiencing mileage inflation. What used to
turn me on 5 years ago doesn't. By 2005, having sex will not
be of any interest to me.
… If I'm black and I hate myself, would that make me a
racist?
… I've always had the impression that most people are
stupid, incompetent or both. Lately, I've discovered that I am
one of them.
… Years ago, I thought the year 2000 would never come
around. Now, I think the year 3000 will never come around.
… The problem with rambling is you don't know when you're
done. |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 8:47am |
Printman |
| Subject: You Say Ramble,
I Say Ramblé... |
ramble 2. to talk or
write aimlessly
I'm guessing that's the idea?
...as of this morning the Pop Poll on "Is lap dancing
cheating?" was split between "Yes, if you lie"
and "No". What the hell does that mean??
...I suppose one should never look a gift horse in the mouth
(or however that goes), but if someone is going to buy you
laps, shouldn't they ask who you want them from? Or at least
get them from a dancer they know you like?
...does a lap dance count as a lap dance, if the dancer talks
through the whole thing? And I don't mean nasty/sweet
nothings, I mean about things that you could care less about.
Sorry, but I didn't ask for a lap to hold a conversation.
...Hiatus gets thrown around way too much these days. When B^
took his, it was kind of a big deal. Now, everyone is either
"on" hiatus or "going on" hiatus.
"This word you keep saying, I do not think it means what
you think it means."
...where did the whole idea of JW being thin-skinned come
from? I enjoy occasionally poking fun at him and I've yet to
see him run away (or shuffle, he is getting on in years). I
usually just get lobbed the
...at the Kings game last night, MrHappy and I were distracted
by a good looking redhead with a big rack. We automatically
assumed she was a dancer. Is that wrong? Well, if you'd have seen
her, you'd have thought so too.
...ZChat has been blowing up over the last couple of weeks.
Even ZBone himself has been in a few times. The other day
there were 20 freakin chatters in there. It was almost
impossible to keep up with all the conversations. I've heard
some people giving me credit for the resurgence, and I don't
think that's right. Seems to me all these people were around
before, there was just never anyone in chat to talk to.
You don't expect people to talk to themselves all the time do
you?
...well, I think I've lived up to the definition and I can't
really think of that much more to say. I think the best thing
about this Ramble Day will be realizing that Benn really is
the best at this whole ramblin' style.
Later.   |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 9:47am |
saxbeat |
| Subject: Ramble on, Benn |
...This is my first ramble. I
haven’t been to a club in weeks, so it is sort of a ramble
down memory lane.
...The first time I went to a strip club was 1978. I went to
77 Sunset Strip. It was a nude club, with juice and no lap
dancing. I still remember the name of the hottest dancer that
night: Her name was Tiger.
...The last time I went to a strip club was January 13, 2000.
I went to Deja Vu North Hollywood. I got a lap dance from a
hot blonde who grabbed my crotch a lot and tried to rub my
dick. I was going to post about her the next day, but when I
started writing, I’d already forgotten her name.
...The first time I got a lap dance was in Florida. They cost
$5 each. I could get a dozen or two in a row, and never
splooge. I’d be so wound up, I’d go home and implode.
...The last time I got a lap dance, it cost $20. I tipped the
dancer $5. I had to stop after two dances so I wouldn’t
splooge. The question I have is: Is it my age or her
technique?
...I prefer to think it's her technique.
...Back before there was zbone.me, there was ASS-C. ASS-C is
still there actually. It’s a lot of people shouting into the
wind. Once in a while, someone says something interesting. Not
often enough, though.
...ASS-C started a few literary traditions I try to uphold. My
favorite is: In your posts, always address people as “dud”
instead of “dude.” If you do it enough, it becomes a term
of affection.
...There’s a guy named Elastin2 who pops into chat once in a
while. Everyone gets really pissed at him, usually. I
haven’t quite figured him out yet. Some moderators get so
freaked out when he comes into chat, they try to bounce anyone
who even looks like him. He’s obnoxious, but so far as I can
tell, harmless. I guess what I’m most curious about is, how
come he’s not bored with us yet?
...Remember the whole fear of TUSCL thing? Whatever happened
to those people?
...I actually find Sitting Bull (whoever he is and however
many there may be of him) kinda funny. Sometimes.
...One of the people I find I agree with a lot is Printmaster.
He is like a lone voice, telling everyone to chill out and
stop thinking so much. Well, actually, Choke does it too, but
Print does it when he’s sober. The only problem is: I know
he thinks 99% of what I write is total bullshit.
...Deuce is one of my favorite writers on this board, even
though everyone jacks him all the time. His club
reports/reviews are great. They are direct, concise, funny and
to the point, with no extraneous analysis. And he never
forgets to mention the good places to eat. I think of Deuce as
the Hemmingway of the ZBB. But I won't call him Papa.
...People keep e-mailing to tell me I know Tish; I don’t
know why. In fact, I’m positive I don’t know her, but I
still love almost everything she writes. In case you are
thinking I’m kissing up to her, you’re right, but it
isn’t because I want to meet her. It’s because I want her
to post more.
...I can remember everyone’s Internet name, but I sometimes
“forget” their real names. If I may share a piece of
advice, it’s that when you phone someone from the ZPosse,
remember not to ask for their Internet name. Especially if you
call Benn’s house.
...An asynchronous happy birthday to Benn. You’re the best,
dud.
...I’ve never seen another dancer named Tiger since that
first one back in 1978. If anyone knows what happened to her,
e-mail me at saxbeat@aol.com. Unless she’s still dancing;
then I don’t want to know about it. |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 10:17am |
Tish |
| Subject: RE: RAMBLE #1--i'm
talking gibberish |
[meth]-->...<snip>
...but is it stupid and unrealistic to fall in with a
dancer?...
...oh yeah, did i mention...i'm in with a
dancer ...will somebody please me?...
[Tish]--> Meth, this question was raised on the Vegas strip
club review bulletin board, and a few of us agreed that even
tho the exception proves the rule, there IS an exception to
the "don't fall in w/a
dancer" rule. We arrived at the following test:
(1) Am I hot enough for a dancer, who probably takes care of
herself and expects her man to, to notice me while she's
focusing on work?
(2) Am I relatively close to her age group? Yes, women can be
attracted to older men, but the Hollywood myth that a
generational gap can work is just that: a myth.
(3) Am I an occasional (or rare), recreational SC attendee?
Or, am I an addictive strip-club-goer who'll be hitting the
clubs after that anniversary dinner?
and, finally:
(4) Can I charm a woman in settings where I'm not paying her
to act like she's charmed?
If all four (and I mean ALL FOUR) are "yes," then by
all means go for it. In any case, best of luck... |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 11:44am |
SittingBull |
| Subject: /RE: How to Ramble? |
[saxbeat]-->I get lots of
letters. In addition to megabytes of e-mail, the post office
dumps sacks of mail on my porch every day.
Lately, a lot of my mail has asked, "Saxbeat, I really
want to ramble in honor of Benn's birthday for Rambleday, but
I don't know how. Could you please teach me?"
Actually, the answer is "No." Ramblers are born, not
made, and I'm afraid I'm not a rambler. But we might all learn
something from watching the expert: Benn himself.
...Rule #1: A ramble is a bunch of seemingly disconnected
thoughts.
<snip 'um>
[SittingBull]-->Ugg, you make 'em too complicated. Want
know how ramble? Easy...read 'em any Cowboy post. Ugg, ha ha
ha! |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 1:10pm |
deuce |
| Subject: Rambling at Work |
… The Sumo-Con last week was
absolutely amazing. Jete actually said something don't ask me
what cause it was more of a mumble. All this time I thought he
was a mute. Then to top that off Tres and Rab came out of the
closet. I'm still having nightmares.
… It seems that the Z-Chat has been infested with all these
dancers lately. Shouldn't you ladies be stripping? Now I have
to watch what I say. I can no longer give my weekly lecture on
how to stalk a dancer. I know you guys always liked to take
notes.
… This weekend I went to Norms for a Texas-size Porterhouse
Steak. I ended up being approached by a dancer I knew from
Industrial Strip. She asked me if I wanted any company and I
said sure. After we finished dinner and the check came I told
her I needed to use the restroom. Instead I went straight
home. I wonder if she is still waiting for me to come out of
the restroom. I figured it was about time I go something for
free.
… I can't believe Southern Comfort stopped the Burgers n'
tits Thursday. I am absolutely heart broken now. This must be
a sign that the world is coming to an end. Somehow Sloppy
Joe's and tits don’t work for me.
… I just baked four dozen chocolate chip cookie and three
dozen oatmeal cookies. Shyanne will supply the milk now what
do you say we have a Z-Con at SRR for Benn. What can be better
than milk and cookies at his age? Cerahas promised to bring
the gerital.
… The other night I rented Deep Blue Sea. After watching 20
minutes of it I couldn’t take no more. It brought back some
horrific memories from the Jet Strip. I think that’s where
the other 10" went.
… I was at a friends house Super Bowl Sunday which was
congested with smoke. Everything from cigarettes to cigars, it
sort of reminded me of the good old days at Industrial Strip.
When I got home that night my dad said I thought you got
kicked out of that club.
… Looks like Romper Room is back in action. All we need now
is cerahas back and jojo to come in more often. MrP seems to
be the newest member or Romper Room.
… The Sumo-Con saga continues this Wednesday at Valley Ball.
Will Jete say something? Will Tres ask Rab for his hand in
marriage? Will Elastin lurk around? There is only one way to
find out and that’s by joining us this Wednesday at Valley
Ball.
… This was fun. I can't wait to do this again next year.
Happy B-day Benn. BTW don't blame me if it sucks. 
said it could suck.
 out
Phat Bastard!!! |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 1:10pm |
Dumbguy |
| Subject: Rambis |
[Dumbguy]-
...I’ve never seen a stripper named Olivette.
...My dad always used to say, “Your ass stinks for a
reason.” I don’t know why he said that. I didn’t like
him very much. Most of the time, I just tried to stay stoned
enough that I couldn’t understand what he was saying. I
think he did the same with me.
...Anytime I listen to PJ Harvey now, I think of that dancer
in “Will Strip for Food” who was throwing chairs around.
Damn that was sexy.
...Is the butt one muscle or two?
...Yesterday this guy I work with came into my office and took
my tape without saying a word and then and started to walk
out.
I said, “Hey, why are you taking the tape?”
“I like tape,” he said.
...I’ve never taken a dump in a strip bar. I’m trying to
lead by example.
...These are the two funniest things I’ve ever read:
- Cancelled due to lack of interest.
- Warning: Not a suppository.
...I grew up in Arcadia. I wonder if I know that woman who’s
picketing the strip club. The human animal seems to have
little or no capacity for minding it’s own business. People
are uptight. With a capital ‘T’, and that rhymes with pee,
and that smells like Texas.
...Olestra. So this is what we’ve come to. The whole point
of eating is nourishment. We’ve become so shallow and lazy
and gluttonous that we’re turning the might of our
industrial-scientific complex to developing a food that’s
indigestible. Fine. I know how it is. The old ‘I’ve
enjoyed our time together, but kindly pay up now.’ I’m no
sentimentalist. But don’t come crying to me when you find
that all the drugs and European automobiles and tag-team
blow-jobs won’t fill that gaping maw in your soul. And that
day will come, my friend. In the spring. On a Tuesday. |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 4:00pm |
Ranchgirl |
| Subject: ever experience
ranchgirl ramble????? |
this is great! i get to ramble
and not get in trouble. kind of like zchat.
First things things first,Happy B-Day Benn, cum see me for
your B-Day dance. Dress appropriately i will be
wearing-------NOTHING!
Why do guys tell us that cum taste great and is full of
protein? I personnally prefer a filet mignon. ( Tastes great
and ful of protein) it also doesn't require groping to attain.
Why did shy get mentioned by and
not me? I'm the one that mentioned the cookies first!! BTW,
deuce, be afraid! BE VERY AFRAID! I'm bringing handcuffs to
claim jumper so don't bother using the bathroom trick.
Z in five years see me. I know you juices will flow by the
time i'm done with you.
Am I the only one that used to torch ants with a magnifying
glass when I was a kid????
Later all
Ranchgirl |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 5:46pm |
distant admirer |
| Subject: Benn's ramble |
Hi Benn,
You may not remember me but I sure remember you. It was a
couple of years ago when we first met. You had that boyish
grin of yours and you made me feel so omfortable. I had only
been dancing and stripping for a few days and I was very
uptight about it. I was thinking of quitting. Thinking that
this just wasn't for me. Then I saw you at the rail looking up
at me with that cute grin. You just seemed so kind and so
supportive. After the stage show, I eventually found you alone
between your constant lap dances and sat with you. It was love
at first sight for me. I really don't usually fall for pimply
faced, overweight, old guys with bad breath but somehow your
personality outweighed all of those other bad points.
You probably will remember what I am about to say and you will
know who I am now. When I asked you if you wanted a lap dance,
you said, "No thanks". I left and came back after
seeing you get a lap dance with another girl. I asked again
and you said "no" again. then I told you that you
would be my first lap dance EVER and that I would do it for
free just to learn how. You bolted out of your chair like it
was on fire as if the words "FREE DANCE" had a
special meaning for you. Actually, I have never seen an old
guy like you move so fast. You practically got to the dance
booth in two steps.
Once in the booth, I began to slowly undress my upper body and
eventually I sat in your lap and began slow subtle moves on
you. You quickly advised me to "grind as hard and as
deep" as I could. Not knowing better, I obliged.
Eventually as I looked into your crossed eyes between all of
those pimples, I began to get aroused. I kept at it song after
song oblivious to the world just getting hotter and hotter.
Your eyes seemed to keep crossing and uncrossing and I
couldn't decide if your were crossed-eyed or on drugs. But
either way, I was falling in love with you and getting really
worked up. Finally, I orgasmed and my wetness oozed out from
my thong and it got on your pants, I guess. That was it for
you! You reached down and felt your wet pants and told me to
get off of you! You practically threw me on the floor!!!
When I explained that I was new and didn't know that I WOULD
GET SO aroused, you said tht was no excuse. We argued. I got
upset. And then I asked you if you were even excited at all
during the dances because I could not tell. Either you were
not hard or you had a very small unit or both. And that's when
you told me that you were gay. I askd why you were in a club
at all then and you said that you just wanted to be sure that
you were gay. I said that there was nothing wrong with being
gay and we said our good byes. But I was still in love with
you.
Months later, I found out from a girlfriend that you were the
Benn on ZBone---the one and the same. So I have watched and
read your posts from afar afraid to interfere. I know that you
are spoken for and you are not GAY!! I just wanted to let you
know that you have a special place in this girl's heart
becuase as you know:
"Ain't nothing like the first time."
Happy B-day,
A Distant Admirer |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 6:28pm |
JW |
| Subject: I try to Ramble... |
…Anyone notice how the
rambles seem to be getting longer as the day wears on? I
better get mine done while I have a chance of not disrupting
the trend.
…Lap dancing is hard work. If you don't believe me, try it
for yourself sometime. Then add in the bull that comes
with the job. These women have my admiration.
…I once saw this on my drive in to work: Two women passing
each other on the street at about 6am. One was a jogger with
long blonde hair in spandex and a hot tight hard body. The
other had long red hair,  and was
wearing a really short dress and thigh high boots. JJF
reminded me of this because he was talking about birds and
worms. I always think of this scene as the start of the day my
worlds collide.
…JJF loaned me a tape of his by Steve Martin that he thought
hilarious, and I should too. Oh well, guess that I don't have
much of a sense of humour. Must be because I'm thin skinned. I
hope that I returned that tape.
…I need to return MrHappy's book. I keep forgetting to bring
it when I see him.
…What was I saying?
…Oh, yeah. I think Camryn Manheim could make on the
HT daytime shift. At least if the staff is similar to what B^
& I saw that one day. She'd be the skinny chick.
…Someone else here remembers Carol Doda? When I saw her she
was beginning to look then like Camryn looks now. Carol would
appear on a piano that descended from the ceiling. The same
piano where a mob guy died while inflagrante. Was that
with her?
…If the SCs get caught up in the merger mania, I sure hope
that it is the Mitchell Bros that run the show, and not the SR
guys.
…Someone concluded that there are three phases to our
relationships with dancers: Love/Indifference/Hate. I'll
agree, except that it looks to be a spiral to me, so that you
encounter each emotion in sequence at different levels. I've
yet to figure out if that spiral is up, down or sideways yet.
I've only got a half dozen winds on this spiral so far.
…Don't fall in love with a dancer. That is my unwavering
advice. I never expect anyone to listen, and I don't follow it
myself. But, when you do, at least make sure you know, really
know, what you are getting into. It can be wonderful.
…I sure hope to hear the story of  s going
postal sometime. Watch, now someone will hand me a tape of a
newscast from way back.
…I think that I am older than , and I still
find programs, mechanisms, and dancers fascinating. I just
have to look for smaller and smaller differences is all.
… and I differ on something, I recommend that you
always try dancer versions 1.0. The ones that are your friends
8 (or even 1.5) years later, are really very special people.
The ones that spin out make for good stories at least, if they
won't accept support.
…Mileage Inflation: Having hit a new peak this last weekend,
I wonder if I can return to reality. But, then, I have had
other peaks and seemed to recover just fine. I don't see how
you can blasé about the whole thing. It would be like food
becoming tasteless just because you eat well.
…I have no plans to subject myself to a hiatus.
…And, yes, how exactly did I get the reps for being thin
skinned and humourless?
…I am well aware of having different humour and
sensibilities from others. We are all allowed our differences.
…Oh, and even dancers play "spot the dancer" in
public.
…It is a small world, I bumped into a dancer I know from
here, who I believe lives here, in the Haight on Saturday.
…I sat in the spot that I understand birthed ASS-C. I sat at
the 'puter in CP. I felt the weight of history. But I could
not get the manager to open a browser - she was pissed at
something that night. And I met no current ASS-Cers. Is this
the equivalent of a cyber-ruin?
…I think using "dud" for "dude" is just
stupid. I also think that the term "PL" is not being
appropriated well.
…As we all expected, force even a modicum of responsibility
on the TUSCLites and they return to hiding under rocks. I
think that this is a good thing. They also seem to not like
this place so much. I think that that is a fantastic outcome.
…I like Printmaster. He is my hero.
…Names. Seems all of my friends have at least two these
days. Please don't be mad if I have an entire conversation
with you without using your name. I may have forgotten one of
them. Damn Alzheimers! I can't tell you the number of
conversations that I have had with choke where we must be
talking about the same people, but we don't know the 'other'
name.
…I know a lot of dancers who use 'Tiger'. I just wish Tiger
of Bob's from about '95 had looked like Tiger@Jet.
…I've known 4 dancers whose real names were Shannon. And 3
whose real names were Sabrina. I've not met any other Shannons
or Sabrinas in my life.
…I know two dancers who use the stage name 'Siobahn'.
…At one point I knew a Jennifer that danced as Christine,
and a Christine that danced as Jennifer. Try getting that
right in conversations.
…Summer of '97, I kept meeting dancers whose real names
sounded like they should be their stage names. I kept thinking
that they should just use their real names. No one would
believe it without proof.
…It finally happened last year. I met a dancer at a club who
introduced herself by her real name first. I'm never gonna get
her name right.
…I don't think any of these women are dancing anywhere
anymore.
…I've seen and met a few dbfs here and there. I don't see as
how very many of them live up to the 4 rules I read about
today. I hate to say it, but jail time seems to be a strong
commonality. And missing teeth. Why are there so many missing
teeth among the dbfs?
…I've not seen "Deep Blue Sea". Is it based on a
true story? Anyway, I assume there is an especially effective
biting scene in the movie. I need to tell someone that the
practice appears to be particularly common in at least one
country.
…I can't imagine that a tag team blow-job would ever not
fill the void in my soul. I know that it does still.
…I've had dancers give me the
protein/moisterizer/conditioner/hair gel line.
…I'm tired of typing now and it is time for a nap. |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 8:13pm |
coach |
| Subject: Ramble day |
I am accused of rambling on a
regular basis by those who know and (sometimes) love me, so
here goes...
If I go into a club a few times and dance with only one or two
girls, usually the others don't bother to ask me to dance
although they'll be friendly and chat a little. I don't know
whether to be flattered or insulted.
I've spent way too much $ in the past 6 months at various
clubs, but I can't see a hiatus in the future...it's been too
good for my soul.
After reading SO much on this board and rarely contributing,
I've got to get to a Z con and meet some of you guys (and
gals) in person.
The first car I ever remember riding in as a kid was our Nash
Rambler wagon...whatta pile!
I hear Morgan from SC has gone on to making vids.
She always seemed to enjoy what she did a bit more than many
other girls I've met...
I don't think I've ever fallen totally in love with a dancer,
but I've fallen into major infatuation with several, knowing
full well nothing will come of it. Does that make me a
cheater?
The SRVN is a beautiful club inside but has no pizzazz. Part
of that comes from the inane way that they try to promote
dances...5 for 1? You gotta be dumb, high, or a lot of both.
It's insulting.
I think I've met all of the criteria for a ramble including a
shot at SRVN, so I'll quit...thanks, I feel SOOOO much better
for having done this! |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 9:02pm |
Jete |
| Subject: A Mumbled Ramble |
...I think I'm spending too
much time at clubs. I'm starting to run into members of the Z
Posse unexpectedly. Then again, at least I was treated to a
good dose of rambling from today's honoree this afternoon. The
bad side, now I'm obligated to ramble.
...I've spent the last two Wednesdays with the Sumo Posse at
VB. Nice club, laid back atmosphere, good selection of girls.
But, the two best things there? Video games and free Altoids.
...It's good to see ZChat bringing people together. I'm
especially happy for our newest couple, TresEquis and his
boytoy, Rab.
...Some folks think it's funny that someone would spend
hundreds of dollars in a club but then clip a coupon to save
on the cover. If I dig through those folks' trash, would I
find bricks of the passes that Choke has graciously
distributed among us?
...I drove by a Krispy Kreme today and was astounded by the
lines. What's with that place? It's not like a person eats
dozens of donuts everyday. Well, maybe Deuce would.
...When is the live video chat with Deuce's belly scheduled
for anyway?
...A friend lives a couple blocks away from SRI. Some Saturday
nights that's the closest parking I can find.
...On the other hand, I was at SoCo last week. There were
three employees, eight customers, and five dancers. In the
parking lot, there were three cars. How does that work?
...Good thing the Rams moved to St Louis. Otherwise, Georgia
Frontiere would not have had an opportunity to show off how
classless she is.
...With tonight's loss against the Spurs, the Clippers have
lost six of their last nine games. That was the Lakers? My
bad...
Happy Ramble Day, Benn
Jete |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 9:53pm |
Mtn. Man |
| Subject: My turn to ramble |
Unlike usual, I have NOT read
anybody's post from today, so I have no idea what other people
have rambled about. I'll try to follow Benn and Sax's
suggested format with my own variations. (mainly that each
item will be lengthy as is normal for me)
...Recently received my most explicit proposition from a
dancer in a topless club, at least here in my home area. Once
the dance began, she mumbled that she'd like to get out of
there for $100. She later asked if she could drink some of my
beer, which of course is not legal in Arizona. I didn't care,
because stopping her is not my job! Later she said she was
sorry about asking me that, but that she had been drinking
before work and was drunk and also horny, not having had a
boyfriend in several months. So she should pay me the $100
then, right? I said no; the poor thing was not real attractive
with cellulite on the back of her thighs and buttocks and she
may have been an alcoholic as well. She did not give the
nastiest dance I've ever had, but she broke a few rules along
the way, like revealing much of her pubic area and having no
latex on her nipples.
. . . I am following the lead of B^ and taking a break from
strip clubs. They are taking up altogether too much of my time
and money. I will not set foot in one for the month of
February (although I was in 3 today!), nor will I look at
websites such as tuscl and stripclublist. I will still read
this BB every week or so, because that is an intellectual and
occasionally emotionally evocative exercise. Also it will be
OK to visit escorts or massseuses, just not what are called in
the common vernacular "tittie bars" and "nudie
bars."
. . . That was some story, Zbone, about the Bucket. Whether it
is true, partially true, or wholly fantasy, it is a great
short story. Thank you for putting it up on your website.
. . . Our esteemed conservative Arizona legislators are at it
again. Not only have they mandated all adult businesses close
at 1:00 am (nude clubs go to bikinis at that time as a
loophole), but some have now proposed an absolute ban on nude
dancing, with topless allowed only if ten feet away from
customers. No tipping is to be allowed either, though maybe a
common tip jar would be permitted. Obviously the hope is to
dry up the flow of dollars to dancers in the hope that most
will leave the business. Unlike some of the city ordinances,
this would be in effect statewide. I am getting to the point
that I don't even care anymore. The people who don't like any
adult entertainment cannot be reasoned with and they seem to
have great sway with politicos.
. . . Happy Groundhog day, everyone! |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 11:07pm |
B^ |
| Subject: Midnight Ramble |
(okay, not quite midnight. But
close enough.)
... Ask anyone; this hiatus hasn't numbed my brain. Not yet,
anyway.
... Being lucky is more important than being good. Especially
if you're lucky enough to have your two favourites working on
the same night, and they're really fond of each other.
... Can you believe it's not even been a year since my hiatus
started? Only half a year or so left to go.
... Did you know that the same brand of beer is stronger in
Mexico than in the U.S.?
... Ever since I went to my first strip club back in 1993,
I've always wondered -- why are so many dancers college
students?
... Freedom of religion means freedom from religion. So get
those damn religious protesters away from our strip clubs so
we can be free of the hypocritical bastards. You know the men
in the group would be lining up to get in the door if their
wives weren't there watching...
... Go to Tijuana just once in your life... just to make you
appreciate what you've got here. And bang a couple of those
Mexican hookers while you're there, just for good measure.
... Have you ever bought a "pity dance" from a
dancer?
... If the police spent more time catching the people who use
the car pool lanes driving alone, and less time in strip clubs
making sure we don't actually enjoy ourselves, then damnit, I
could get to work without being pissed off at those bastards
all the time.
... Just once I'd like to go to a strip club and not see a
single set of implants the whole time.
... Knowledge is like an ATF. The more of it you get, the more
you want... but after a while it starts to get very expensive,
and if you try to get too much of it it makes your brain
explode.
... Looking for love in strip clubs is like playing to win the
Lotto. The odds are so far against you that it's stupid to
try, but try to tell that to the guy who actually does win.
... Men offer love in order to get sex. Women offer sex in
order to get love. Except in strip clubs. There, men just
offer money, and women just take it.
... Never get just one dance, is my rule. It makes me feel
like a cheapskate. Well, unless the first one is *really* bad.
Then I cut my losses and get the hell out.
... One of these days I'm going to trick Deuce into taking a
trip to Tijuana with us. And then we'll pour him full of beer
and send him off with a nice street hooker. If we can find
one, that is.
... Passion is the driving force behind everything worthwhile.
Find your passion, or your journey just won't be what it could
be.
... Quarters don't make good stage tips. Except if you know
the dancer has a toll booth to go through. One dancer back in
Richmond, VA always thanked me for the stack of quarters I
gave her at the end of the night so she could use the exact
change booth.
... Remember, tomorrow is Groundhog Day. And it's best served
medium-rare.
... Sometimes these days I get a real urge to just throw this
hiatus to the wind and go to a strip club. But nothing
worthwhile was ever easy.
... Twenty-dollar bills are yuppie food coupons. It seems
whenever I go out to lunch with people at work, we all pull
out twenties and end up having to get change from the waiter
so we can settle up the bills. I think ATM machines should
give us more variety.
... Ugly dancers need tips too. Besides, they're most likely
friends with pretty dancers, and it can't hurt to have them
put in a good word for you.
... "Violet" would be a cool dancer name. But I
can't remember having ever met one.
... When my hiatus is over I'm gonna have to have another big
party to celebrate getting back into strip clubbing. Then
again, maybe I'll just go for another 500 days.
... Xena would make a better stage dancer, but Gabrielle would
make a better lap dancer. I think so, anyway. On the other
hand, a double with the two of them...
... You can take the dancer out of the club, but you can't
take the club out of the dancer. But why would you want to, if
you're the one taking the dancer out of the club?
... Z, thanks for this great site. It's a great place
to be.
Pax,
B^ |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 11:43pm |
Tish |
| Subject: RE: I try to
Ramble... |
[JW]-->…<snip>
…I've seen and met a few dbfs here and there. I don't see as
how very many of them live up to the 4 rules I read about
today. I hate to say it, but jail time seems to be a strong
commonality. And missing teeth. Why are there so many missing
teeth among the dbfs?
[Tish]--> Good point. But those are probably relics from BD
(Before Dancing) when the D was tossing burgers at Mickey D's,
or heading up M&A at Goldman, or whatever. They're kept
around for sentimental value, or because they still owe the D
$. Once she moves into the SC world, the stakes become much
higher. You're up against dudes who not only have teeth, but
who have great titles like CEO, Mob Boss, President of the
USA. Who are leaving people like Carmen Electra toiling over a
hot stove to come in and donate this month's car payment. So
yeah, lotsa charm, a pretty face, and addictions to Veuve
Cliquot under the stars, instead of warm beer at an SC, ain't
gonna hurt. |
|
| Gossip
and Rumors |
2/1/2000 11:46pm |
StraDawg |
| Subject:
Rambleday |
*yawn* *stretch*
Hmmm... bad dawgie... almost slept through Rambleday...
... at one point, I think I had an idea what I was going to
ramble about. Oh, well, so much for plans. I guess the only
thing you can count on in life is meeting Deuce at the club a
few hours after he swears them off for life.
... now that I think about it, the only thing I knew for sure
I wanted to ramble about was Steve Martin's
R-A-M-B-L-I-N-apostrophe, and jjf burned through that one
before RambleDay even arrived. I would chide JW about not
being entertained by it, but I understand that he is
thin-skinned now, so I'll just let it go.
... in my profile either here or on EChat or both, I describe
myself as 4'10", 320lbs with 6' long hair. That's not
really me, but there's a guy I've seen at the Bare on many
occasions who fits that description better than I. In fact,
before I met TresEquis, he scared the out of
this guy, because he thought it was me. Anyone know who the
hell this guy is?
... 00 in '00!! means I am not buying any laps dances
in the year 2000. Chokemaster decided I needed some dances the
other night (thanks again, Choke) and some of the Posse
present decided to chide me about it. Fellas: Please buy me as
many dances as you like; I'll keep you in stitches all year
long. 
... it's been good to see so many new faces both in chat and
IRL.
... insert your own SRVN joke here. I'm too tired to think of
one.
... *skritch* *skritch* *skritch*
... I always suspected Milo would win in the end. It's good to
find out for once he did.
... That Mountain Dew is starting to kick in. Now that I think
about it, it was prolly a bad idea to drink that this late...
stupid naps.
... After reading back the last few of my rambles, I have
determined, it's not a good idea to actually ramble in a
ramble. I'll be more selective in the future.
... well, at least I was smart enough to leave the best stuff
for last. Happy Rambleday and Happy Birthday, Benn! God bless
you and yours!
StraDawg
Daisy Hill Puppy Farm
 |
|
| Anything
Goes |
2/1/2000 11:52pm |
CambriaHT |
Subject: Last minute ramble  |
[Cambria]--> God, I can be
so good at this sometimes. Lets see...
-- Ever wonder why the ugliest girls make the most money? Is
it their dances or because guys feel more comfortable with
girls who look like their exs?
- Is there are reason why there are condoms in the men's
bathrooms at strip clubs, but not the women's?
- Why is it that women have been getting pregnant for
centuries and it was not until we found out that women could
give men AIDS that condoms began to appear in bathrooms?
- Personally I prefer the flavored condoms. Can you get me
some?
- Do men think it is sexy to tell us how many years they have
been going to strip clubs?
- Do men confess to non-dancer girlfriends the extent of their
SC adventures? Or is this just because you think I will
understand because I am a stripper?
- Do normal people always talk about sex to non-strippers?
Does my profession give people a license to talk all about
their sexual endeavors? Do you ask your doctor and lawyer
friends for free advice about legal problems or medical
conditions?
- If you don't get  up should
I take that as an indication that I am not doing a good job?
Or does it always work like that and that is why you come
here?
- Are there really THAT many bisexual women or are they
pretending? I can't tell, should I mind if they are coming
onto me?
- I wish I could get for
everytime I post on this board. That would be cool.
- When I dress up in public  people
think I am trying to show off and guys hit on me. When I dress
down  people still hit on me, but I scare some off
because they think I am crazy or a nerd.
- One time I overheard two guys talking about me as I walked
down the street dressed nerdy . One guy
said, "She is a student." The other guy said,
"With those legs!" My legs gave me away. Damn!
- East coast people don't generally have good legs so they
always wear pants. They thought I was nuts for wearing shorts
in 100 degree weather. I always told them if people in Philly
ate less cheese steaks they too would be able to wear shorts
like us Californians.
I did it! I did it! Now for a cool Icon to close with.
 That is my favorite! Cambria |
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