| WARNING: The following article is very offensive. Do not
read if you are easily offended.
Okay, so you were infatuated with a dancer and she dumped you because you
started acting a little too wacko. Now, you're despondent and thinking about
murder-suicide.
One very important advice. If you want to do murder-suicide, make sure you
shoot her FIRST! This is very important. If you shoot yourself first, you
will not likely be able to shoot at her afterwards. If you are only going
to kill her, there are many ways that you can do this and get away with murder.
Having a name with 2 initials can help but being filthy rich is even better.
Here are the proper steps on killing her without being caught. Since you
know her and since most likely, she has already been witnessed being hostile
towards you, you may become the number one suspect if she is murdered. One
thing to remember is that if the body is never found, it is very hard to
pin a murder on somebody. However, transporting a body is very risky for
obvious reasons.
Step 1:
I recommend that you follow her in her car. When she is exiting her car,
rush her and knock her out without using your gun. This can be done with
any heavy blunt instrument, like a bat. Place her in her own car trunk quickly.
If she is bleeding, use duck tape to tape up her head to prevent too much
blood from coming out.
Step 2:
Next, make sure there is enough gas. If not, bring gas from a can in your
car to her car and fill it up. Now, drive her car to a very secluded area.
If you live near a desert, forest or swamp area, those are good places to
go. Once you are sure you are far from anybody driving or walking by, move
the body to the dump sight and make sure she is dead with 2 shots to the
head. If you have enough time, use acid to melt away the fingers, face and
dental areas. Do not burn the body. If you have time, separate the body into
smaller parts and bury them in other spots. If this is too risky, simply
bury the entire body in one spot. Cover everything up nicely. Make sure you
do not leave any shovels or other tools. It's OK if you leave tire marks
near the body because it is from her own car.
Step 3:
Drive her car back to the city where you left your car. Wipe off any obvious
finger prints and make sure you do not leave any tools or other items that
you brought yourself. Leave the car with the door unlocked but closed and
the windows slightly down. Drive home in your own car, remove all clothing,
shoes, tools, etc, and place them in a trash bag. If any blood got on the
bat or shovel, they will also have to be discarded. Blood can be detected
even if you try to clean the items. Drive to a secluded city area and dump
the trash bag in a large dumpster. Place the gun in a separate bag and dump
it in another dumpster in another district. Return home again and re-check
the house for any blood, hair or fibers. If found, get rid of them again.
Step 4:
Do not file a missing persons report on the dancer. Simple go about your
business like nothing happened. Eventually, she will be reported missing
and after a while, the homicide detectives will figure out that the dancer
had a problem with you. They will come and visit you at work or home. If
you are not a strong suspect, they will call you and ask you to come to the
station for a talk. Although you do not have to do so, that would seem suspicious
to the detectives. Remember that no matter what the detectives say to you,
NEVER change your story. They are allowed to lie to you and say that a witness
saw you dump the body or they found some blood here or there. Simply say
you don't know how that could have happened since you had nothing to do with
any of it.
Step 5:
Once the car is found, they will go thru it for hair, fibers, finger prints
and blood. When the detectives return to you for more questions, one of the
questions they will ask is if you have ever used the dancer's car. The answer
is "yes". Tell them that you had to drive her car on several occasions to
have it fixed for her and to pick her up in it. This will allow for your
hair, finger prints and fibers to be there. If they claim to have found your
blood or other bodily fluids in the car, tell them you don't recall how that
could be the case. Always remember that the detectives can lie to you.
Step 6:
If the body is never found, no charges will probably be brought. If the body
is found, unless something on the body is traced back to you, they will not
have a strong enough case to file on you. Some important things to remember
are as follows: NEVER tell ANYBODY about your killing. Not even family members
or close personal friends. The laws are different in some states, but in
California, the hearsay rule does not apply to confessions made by the killer
to others. They are allowed to testify against you in court, even though
it is only hearsay.
Step 7:
If for some reason, it goes to court, hire the best attorney you can afford.
It makes a BIG difference. However, in most large cities, the public defendants
that are assigned to murder cases are very competent and experienced in murder
cases. Assuming that you get a good lawyer, your chances are about 60/40,
not in your favor. If you can get a hung jury twice, they will probably
drop the case. DO NOT take a plead bargain for a lessor offense (e.g.
manslaughter). This indicates that the DA thinks they have a weak case. Take
it to trial with a good lawyer and you will at least get a hung jury.
Step 8:
Live the rest of your life worried that somebody will find out you killed
her and feel guilty about it.
Step 9:
Shoot yourself.
Now, we're back to the murder-suicide again.
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