Z Bone Zone

How do I get rid of a dancer permanently?
WARNING: The following article is very offensive. Do not read if you are easily offended.

Okay, so you were infatuated with a dancer and she dumped you because you started acting a little too wacko. Now, you're despondent and thinking about murder-suicide.

One very important advice. If you want to do murder-suicide, make sure you shoot her FIRST! This is very important. If you shoot yourself first, you will not likely be able to shoot at her afterwards. If you are only going to kill her, there are many ways that you can do this and get away with murder. Having a name with 2 initials can help but being filthy rich is even better.

Here are the proper steps on killing her without being caught. Since you know her and since most likely, she has already been witnessed being hostile towards you, you may become the number one suspect if she is murdered. One thing to remember is that if the body is never found, it is very hard to pin a murder on somebody. However, transporting a body is very risky for obvious reasons.

Step 1:
I recommend that you follow her in her car. When she is exiting her car, rush her and knock her out without using your gun. This can be done with any heavy blunt instrument, like a bat. Place her in her own car trunk quickly. If she is bleeding, use duck tape to tape up her head to prevent too much blood from coming out.

Step 2:
Next, make sure there is enough gas. If not, bring gas from a can in your car to her car and fill it up. Now, drive her car to a very secluded area. If you live near a desert, forest or swamp area, those are good places to go. Once you are sure you are far from anybody driving or walking by, move the body to the dump sight and make sure she is dead with 2 shots to the head. If you have enough time, use acid to melt away the fingers, face and dental areas. Do not burn the body. If you have time, separate the body into smaller parts and bury them in other spots. If this is too risky, simply bury the entire body in one spot. Cover everything up nicely. Make sure you do not leave any shovels or other tools. It's OK if you leave tire marks near the body because it is from her own car.

Step 3:
Drive her car back to the city where you left your car. Wipe off any obvious finger prints and make sure you do not leave any tools or other items that you brought yourself. Leave the car with the door unlocked but closed and the windows slightly down. Drive home in your own car, remove all clothing, shoes, tools, etc, and place them in a trash bag. If any blood got on the bat or shovel, they will also have to be discarded. Blood can be detected even if you try to clean the items. Drive to a secluded city area and dump the trash bag in a large dumpster. Place the gun in a separate bag and dump it in another dumpster in another district. Return home again and re-check the house for any blood, hair or fibers. If found, get rid of them again.

Step 4:
Do not file a missing persons report on the dancer. Simple go about your business like nothing happened. Eventually, she will be reported missing and after a while, the homicide detectives will figure out that the dancer had a problem with you. They will come and visit you at work or home. If you are not a strong suspect, they will call you and ask you to come to the station for a talk. Although you do not have to do so, that would seem suspicious to the detectives. Remember that no matter what the detectives say to you, NEVER change your story. They are allowed to lie to you and say that a witness saw you dump the body or they found some blood here or there. Simply say you don't know how that could have happened since you had nothing to do with any of it.

Step 5:
Once the car is found, they will go thru it for hair, fibers, finger prints and blood. When the detectives return to you for more questions, one of the questions they will ask is if you have ever used the dancer's car. The answer is "yes". Tell them that you had to drive her car on several occasions to have it fixed for her and to pick her up in it. This will allow for your hair, finger prints and fibers to be there. If they claim to have found your blood or other bodily fluids in the car, tell them you don't recall how that could be the case. Always remember that the detectives can lie to you.

Step 6:
If the body is never found, no charges will probably be brought. If the body is found, unless something on the body is traced back to you, they will not have a strong enough case to file on you. Some important things to remember are as follows: NEVER tell ANYBODY about your killing. Not even family members or close personal friends. The laws are different in some states, but in California, the hearsay rule does not apply to confessions made by the killer to others. They are allowed to testify against you in court, even though it is only hearsay.

Step 7:
If for some reason, it goes to court, hire the best attorney you can afford. It makes a BIG difference. However, in most large cities, the public defendants that are assigned to murder cases are very competent and experienced in murder cases. Assuming that you get a good lawyer, your chances are about 60/40, not in your favor. If you can get a hung jury twice, they will probably drop the case. DO NOT take a plead bargain for a lessor offense (e.g. manslaughter). This indicates that the DA thinks they have a weak case. Take it to trial with a good lawyer and you will at least get a hung jury.

Step 8:
Live the rest of your life worried that somebody will find out you killed her and feel guilty about it.

Step 9:
Shoot yourself.

Now, we're back to the murder-suicide again.

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