Back in the '80's I used to attend seminars at the L.A. Convention Center and I would drive past some of these places on my way home. While curious, I never ventured inside one because I had the preconceived notion that only immigrants and old geezers went to those places and that the women were mostly overweight and over-30 transplants from Tijuana.

Actually, during their heyday in the '30's and '40's they were quite respectable and were frequently depicted in the movies of that era. They were very big back east, particularly in New York. The men, who typically wore suits, would buy tickets which they would give to the hostesses in exchange for a dance. The tickets were 10 cents each, hence they were called "dime-a-dance" clubs. Some time in the '50's they began a slow, gradual decline to the point where they've virtually disappeared from the scene, with the exception of Oakland, which as recently as ten years ago still had a couple of clubs, and L.A., where they continue to thrive.

My perception of these places changed when I read an article in the L. A. Times Magazine (July, 1990 I believe) entitled "Taxi Dancers." It featured excerpts of interviews with dancers, customers, and then current and former club owners. The article mentioned about four or five clubs but mainly focused on Club Flamingo, which was then and arguably still is the most popular club. It said that you could dance with 19 and 20 year old girls and that some heavy petting took place there.

When I finally went several months later I was pleasantly surprised to find a lot of young, attractive girls working there, most of whom were caucasian. A lot of the customers did look like they may have been immigrants, but they were mostly moderately affluent-looking Asians instead of the Latinos I expected. There were only a few old geezers and a surprising number of men in their 20's and 30's. Contrary to the popular notion that most men go to these places because they're lonely and can't otherwise get a pretty girl to pay attention to them, I'd say most of them go for the same reason I do, which is to have fun. Then there are a lot of guys who are just looky-loos.

The clubs are all located in downtown L.A. Instead of buying tickets, when you ask a girl to dance, she'll take a card from a rack and punch a time clock. For $.40 a minute, which works out to $24 an hour (there's a 10 min. minimum), you can dance and/or sit and talk on couches with the girl(s) of your choice. The standard tip is to match the bill. For simplicity's sake, I round off to the nearest multiple of $5. There's no nudity, but many of the girls wear minis and micro-minis, in a few cases barely covering their asses. Some of them also show generous amounts of cleavage. The clubs are dry, so the girls can be as young as 18. Most are in their early to mid 20's, a few in their early 30's, very few over 35.

For $24 an hour plus a comparable tip, you can typically (depending on the club) expect light to moderate touching and stand-up grinding, although some girls don't grind much at all and others will do fairly heavy grinding for the same rate. Rubbers are a definite must. Depending on the girl, you can get more, .i.e, feeding and stick shifting. Many girls will let you touch as much as you want, and in some cases, where you want. YMWV.

The clubs pay the girls either minimum wage or on a sliding scale based on how many minutes they dance per week, but, as in the strip clubs, they rely mainly on tips. Unlike strip clubs, these aren't the kind of places one chooses to work at. Most of the girls have limited marketable skills, and, outside of stripping, where else can they make $25 an hour? Some do so because it's convenient (shorter hours, easy money, etc.). Due to the nature of the business the girls have to "go along in order to get along" to a certain extent, so that probably explains why they are generally more willing to "put out" than strippers.

Most of the girls average about $100 or so in tips per night, the more popular ones (not necessarily the nastiest) may average up to $200. On a good night, they may make as much as $300. The good ones have regulars who may tip as much as $100 per hour, and I've even heard of $200 tippers. These "high rollers" are usually Asian, or in some cases, middle easterners. I personally like to match the bill for light to moderate touching and grinding, 1-1/2 times the bill for heavy-duty touching and grinding, and up to double the bill for feeding and stick shifting. That probably doesn't sound like a lot compared to what you'd spend for comparable service in a strip club, but most of the girls seem satisfied with it. Unless a girl actually has sex with you (wear a long coat and you might be able to do it on the dance floor at a couple of clubs), you shouldn't need to tip more than triple the bill.

Now for a brief capsule of my favorite clubs. There are more than 10 clubs in L. A., most of which are listed in the Yellow Pages under Ballrooms, but only four of them are worth going to, IMO. In decreasing order of nastiness, they are:

Dreamland
833 S Spring St, Los Angeles, CA 90014
(213) 689-1280

Cover Charge: $5 after 8:00 P.M. Hours: 7:00 P.M. to 2:00 A.M., every day Food: Snack bar w/light snacks, candy, soft drinks, etc. Security parking

VISA, MC, and ATM check cards bearing the VISA/MC symbol, ATM Machine (not working as of last Wednesday), video/pinball games, pool tables, free buffet on Tuesdays around 11:00 P.M. The credit card slips say "Muir Field Productions." A nice, discreet touch. $24 minimum on credit/ATM cards.

This is the only club with two dance floors and two TV rooms, one each downstairs and upstairs. For a while from roughly the middle of '94 to spring '96, before the cops tried to shut them down and they had to install cameras, they were off the nasty factor scale. Used to be I could go there on just about any night knowing there would be about five or six girls who would let me feed to my heart's content. One night I danced with three girls (one at a time) and, um, digitally stimulated all three of them. Reportedly there was beaucoup stick shifting going on, too. At one point the place was more popular than Flamingo, and, rather than bother dancing first, I just grabbed the first available couch. Management made a token effort to enforce the rules, but because it was good for business they often looked the other way.

Those days are gone, but if you get the right girl you may get almost as good action. Again, YMWV. Upstairs is more popular than downstairs, especially for grinding. The TV rooms are just off the dance floors and have large, overstuffed leather couches that are long enough to lie down on. Even with the cameras, if you get the rearmost couches downstairs and the rearmost and rightmost, frontmost upstairs, you can do some messing around. You have to keep an eye out for security, though. They seem to come around about every 20-30 minutes.

When dancing with a girl I don't know, unless I know she's nasty from having observed her with other customers, I like to talk with her for a while to establish some kind of rapport and get her to feel comfortable with me. I never ask if she'll do such-and-such. After a while, if she seems sufficiently relaxed, I'll let my hands wander down to her ass, then to her thighs, then to her ass underneath her skirt (if she'll let me). If she lets me go this far or if she starts grinding me heavily right away, it's a pretty good but not necessarily sure sign that she may be amenable to other extracurricular activities. Most girls won't ask for a tip up front. If one does, I'll give her a $20 and see what kind of service I get.

The racial mix of the girls is pretty good. I'd say about 50% are Latina (about half of them from south of the border), there's a fair number of anglos, a few Asians and Blacks. Most are at least reasonably attractive, several 7's, a fair number of 8's, and even one or two 9's. For good grinding and high contact, I recommend Christina, clock #1, and Andrea, clock #13. You may not get the same treatment, but Christina will turn around, hike up her skirt a couple of inches (she wears them really short) and grind her bare ass, well, almost anyway, save for the t-back underwear, against my crotch. What an erotic sight!

Nasty factor: three stars (used to be four, **sigh!**) They also have a lingerie contest Wednesday night around 11:45, with members of the audience serving as judges. This is a good opportunity to get a feel (literally as well as figuratively) for how nasty some of the girls are. It seems like the nastiest ones often win, although some girls claim the contests are rigged by the management.

Business has dropped off in the last three months or so. Apparently under pressure from the cops, they increased the lighting in the downstairs dance floor and TV room, replaced a row of couches just off the dance floor with small, round tables and high barstools, and removed a partition that was only big enough to screen one couple from view (big deal)! They used to have about 60 or so girls working weekends, now there's slightly more than half that many. I heard they let a lot of girls go because they weren't making their minutes. One of the waitresses told me that a lot of the girls they hired as replacements quit because they couldn't handle working there, although they have to put up with a lot less now compared to two years ago.

Club Flamingo
624 W 12th St, Los Angeles, CA 90015
(213) 748-2512

Cover charge: $5 after 8:00 p.m. Hours: 4:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. M-F, 7:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m., S,S Food: Snack bar w/light snacks, candy, soft drinks, etc. Security parking

VISA, MC, and ATM check cards bearing the VISA/MC symbol, video/pinball games, pool tables, free buffet Monday nights. $24 minimum on credit/ATM cards.

This place used to have a reputation for being the nastiest club, now it's mainly known for grinding and discreet stick shifting. The heavy grinding occurs in a corner behind a rectangular post, where the grinding couples are screened from view by other couples.

The TV room is darker than then ones at Dreamland, but it also has a camera. There's also a remote controlled camera on the dance floor. I'm not sure what kind of action you can get in the TV room, since I don't go there much ever since Dreamland got good.

The racial mix and quality is similar to Dreamland, although based on my last visit a couple of weeks ago, I'd say that overall Dreamland has better quality. Flamingo still has more girls by about a 2:1 ratio. They have contests three nights a week. I believe Tuesdays are bikini, Wednesdays are wet T-shirt, and Thursdays are lingerie. They didn't use to be as nasty as at Dreamland, but I haven't seen one in a long time so things may have changed.

Located right across the street from the Convention Center, I'm not sure how much longer this place will be around. I've heard rumors for several years that the Convention Center wanted the site for parking. Now with the imminent building of the new Staples Arena, its days may be numbered.

Nasty factor: two and a-half stars.

Club Fantasy
307 W 4th St, Los Angeles, CA 90013
(213) 620-9572

Cover charge: $5 after 8:00 p.m. Hours: 4:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m., every day Food: Snack bar w/light snacks, candy, soft drinks, etc. Security parking

VISA, MC, and ATM check cards bearing the VISA/MC symbol, video/pinball games, no pool tables. $24 minimum on credit/ATM cards.

Located across the street from the Bunker Hll project, it has a somewhat better locale than most clubs. This is actually a fairly classy looking club as these clubs go, and the clientele as well as the girls are a cut above most clubs. The quality of the girls is second only to Starlight. Most are 7's and up, there are several 8's, and a handful of 9's. There are more anglos, too, although I've noticed a number of ex-Dreamland girls there recently. Some of the girls even wear long gowns or pants (yawn). You can probably forget about them if you're looking for action. You'll just have to go by instinct in picking a girl.

It's not as nasty as Dreamland or Flamingo, but I have eaten at the "Y" there recently with two different girls. One of my favorites is Jordan, clock #69 (that's right, 69). She's 21 and looks like a cross between Pamela Lee and Lonnie Anderson. Not nasty, but very sweet and very cuddly. Another very sweet girl who just started there is Sandra, a petite 21 year old Mexican, clock #93, I believe. Anna, a tall, blond Russian, clock # 106, is also quite "friendly," but she told me she usually only works 2-3 hours a night.

For messing around, get the frontmost couch to the right of the TV or the one in the northeast corner (to the left in the far back as you enter the club). Security doesn't come around as frequently as at Dreamland or Flamingo. There's very minimal grinding, probably because management discourages it. Given the layout of the club, it just wouldn't look good. You'll see what I mean if you go there. There are no cameras.

Nasty factor: two stars. One of the girls told that there is illegal activity that occurs after hours. I assume she was referring to girls going home or to motels with customers.

Club Starlight
1224 S Broadway, Los Angeles, CA 90015
(213) 747-7653

Cover charge: Unknown Hours: Most likely 7:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. Food: Unknown, they do serve soft drinks, so they probably have a snack bar

VISA, MC, and ATM check cards bearing the VISA/MC symbol

This is the plushiest and most expensive club in L.A., and the only one that has valet parking. I went there once several years ago, and at that time it was $26 an hour to dance with a girl. It's probably at least $30 now. I don't know if they have a TV room.

It caters predominantly to affluent Asian men. Unlike the other clubs, you don't select the girls. When a group of customers comes in (they usually come in small groups, although don't feel shy about going by yourself), there are a couple of "mama-sans" wandering around who will go and pick girls to go over to their table. I'm told the girls sit behind a glass partition that allows you to see them, but they can't see you. If you see a girl you like, call one of the mama-sans over, tell her which girl you want, and slip her a $5 or $10. The girls range from very attractive to beautiful; most of them are caucasian.

Nasty factor: ?? Like I said, I only went once and the mama-sans didn't pay any attention to me, so I never actually danced with a girl. I've met several girls who used to work there who've told me they quit because management, shall we say, strongly encourages the girls to "date" the customers, if you get my drift. I've recently been told that the dates occur during club hours, although most clubs prohibit dancers from leaving with customers during working hours. The dates are set up by the club and are not cheap, about three Ben Franklins for one hour, with the girl keeping two.

If you're not Asian, wear obviously expensive clothes when you go there (assuming you have some, of course). Even a suit wouldn't be overdoing it. Otherwise they might think you're a cop.

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