On the same day the 7 samurai went to the Jet for Zcon, the stock market had its ugliest day this year. Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan lamented, "It is not that humans have become any more lusty than in generations past. It is that the avenues to express lust had grown so enormously."
Throughout the years, I have found the rules for investing often apply nicely in the world of strip clubs. They both deal sinfully with greed, envy, and lust.
Rule 1. Don't invest money you cannot afford nor spend at sc money you need for food.
Rule 1a. Don't borrow to go to a sc or to buy stocks.
Rule 2. Diversify. Don't put your sperms in the same basket. My preferred mix is 40% blonde, 30% brunette, 20% International and 10% others. Find more than 3 or 4 favorite clubs and at least two enjoyable dancers in each. Oh, don't forget the waitresses. If you can get them on the ground floor and before their IPO, the return in pleasure is unbelievable.
Rule 3. Dollar-cost average. Spend a similar amount each month, don't spend it all on one wild night.
Rule 4. Don't fall in love with a stock or a dancer. There is time to make a profit and run to the restroom and time to cut a loss and go to another dancer.
Rule 5. When in doubt, invest in dividend-paying blue chips like Frosty and Nicole. Brighten your portfolio with growth companies like Jenna and Dimitri. However, always be aware of hypes.
Rule 6. Don't be too greedy. Don't expect to hit a home run every time. If you get to first base, that is a copy.
Rule 7. Before you invest, research and know where you're putting your money. Read the many good posts on Zbone. Check the Standard and Poor StraDawg Report on $/minute of laps. Find out the names who often report accurately.
Rule 8. Stock market and strip clubs are not the only avenues for your money. It is always profitable to get something real and tangible. Buy a house or even get a wife. They are both tax-deductable and might even contribute to your household incomes. |
