| Humor
& Fiction |
Date: 7/17/2002 5:08pm |
 Name: Ten4 <ten4mw@yahoo.com> |
| Subject: RE:
While nondescriptive subjects are more likely to be blew |
[saibaba-->
<snip>
OK, I'll give you humor:
http://www.identitytheory.com/insight/br...
Ooops. It's not fiction! Well, 1 out of 2 ain't that bad.
[Ten4]--> Thanks saibaba, that was a fucken great article.
If you’ve ever actually dated a stripper, this guy’s
pretty much dead on. (“Dating” may not be the right
word here, any more than it is when street hoes ask if you
“wanna date?” – but that would be nitpicking.)
But I think he’s wrong about a few things, the most notable
of which is his comment that you gotta date a stripper at
least five times to get sex. That’s only true if you’re in
a certain category of stripper “boyfriends” – the
pathetic dipshit who pays the bills, waits outside the club to
give her a ride home in his Mercedes, and still doesn’t get
laid because she says she’s tired and has to get up early.
Let’s face it, if you go out with a stripper and don’t
fuck her on the first date, you’re prolly not getting
over with this broad except maybe for a later, subsistence
fuck designed to insure you continue paying the bills.
Subsistence fucks are like sympathy fucks – they’re not
generally the great, come-three-times-before-you-get-soft
fucks that’re why you put up with shit to fuck strippers in
the first place. All right, I’ll grant that you might
get a great fuck like that on a second – as opposed to first
– date, but only if you’re not a pathetic dip, if
either she’s a little uptight or you’re trying to be a
gentleman to insure getting in on the second date. Of course
it’s possible, just like on any date, that the
opportunity will just not present itself on the first date,
but here, remember that you’re dealing with a babe that, at
a minimum, rubs her pussy against guys’ dicks for a living,
so there won’t be too many opportunities that won’t
present on that first date, if you catch my drift here.
Anyway, you can be sure that if you’re dating a stripper
more than once without getting any, someone else is, and
you’re prolly paying his bills, too.
The article also limits itself to one type of stripper girl
friend: the Party Girl. For all the reasons the guy mentioned,
this type of girl is not particularly good girl friend
material, even if all you wanna do is fuck her. In fact, this
type of girl isn’t that good as a girl friend even if
she’s not a stripper. Basically, this is the type of
girl that’s used to having guys drool all over her just
because she’s got nice tits and looks fucken great in a
halter. Don’t feel bad – you could be Brad Pitt and still
not keep this chick in line.
But while all strippers – at least those most guys wanna
date – are used to guys tripping over their dicks just to
get close to ‘em, not all are Party Girl types. There’re a
lot of other stripper types, too. (Apologies to ZBone here,
since he covered some of this shit in an old post about
different stripper and customer types.)
There’s the Abused Teenager. This type grew tits early, got
diddled by Mom’s deadbeat boyfriend at 14, got knocked up at
16, and maybe got strung out on crank, all before retreating
to the one thing she knew well: making guys trip over their
dicks just to drool on her. (Yeah I know: there’s a theme
here.) These are girls you wanna take care of and think you
can take care of, but can’t. These girls might seem
like Party Girls, but they’re not happy about it. Actually,
they’re not happy about anything, and you aren’t
gonna change that: no man could, not even a pathetic dweeb who
gives her everything and drives her home without getting laid.
She’ll show up on your dates about as reliably as she shows
up on her club shifts.
Then, there’s the Pro Dancer. They work their shifts like
you work your job. They make their money and go home.
They may own a condo they bought themselves, as opposed to the
Party Girl, who has a condo someone else bought. These are the
girls you wish you met anywhere but at the club, because if
you met them anywhere else, you might actually do OK here.
They may or may not be Abused Teenagers, but they are not
Party Girls, so you will not have the problems referred to in
the above article. You will also probably not succeed in
dating them, unless you can convince them at the club that
you’re not a pathetic dweeb who thinks he can date dancers.
This will take a lot of time, and a lot of trips to the club,
which will likely convince her you are in fact a pathetic
dweeb who thinks he can date dancers, and you will have no
chance at all. Most dweebs prefer the Party Girl type to this
type, since they can convince themselves the Party Girls, who
are more inclined to play up to these losers, really like
them, whereas the Pro Dancers are seen as cold or hard. This
is prolly why the above article is limited to the Party Girl
type of stripper. Personally, I fucken love the Pro Dancer
type, but then I like the chicks in detective novels, too.
Then, there’s the Refugee From the Midwest. In LA, these
might also be Refugees From Mexico or Latin America, Southeast
Asia, or the Czech Republic. Point of origin doesn’t make
that much difference: the key is, they come to LA for the
weather, the acting, the beach, or the school. They find out
they can either make a ton of money making guys splooge by
rubbing their tits on the guys’ pants, or make minimum wage
selling burgers. Their choice of dancing may mean they were
also Abused Teenagers, aspiring Party Girls, or potential Pro
Dancers. Or it may just mean they want the fucken money. They
will become Party Girls or Pro Dancers if they hang around
long enough, or they might dance just long enough to cover
their tuition. You might date one of these girls, especially
if you’re young and are yourself a Refugee who came to LA
for the weather, the acting, the beach, or the school. Unless
of course you’re a nerd who can’t meet women except at
strip clubs, in which case you’re in the same position as if
she were a Party Girl.
Finally, there are some types of strippers that even total
dweebs don’t usually wanna date. There are Rip Off Bitches,
who are basically Pro Dancers gone bad. Only a special type of
complete nerd would ever try to date one of these. There are
Unabashed Whores, who are usually good to know if you’re in
the club, but who you’d turn a corner to avoid anywhere
else. There may also be Man-Hating Cunts, which is what
assholes who constantly hit on strippers think all strippers
are. In reality this type barely exists at all. Basically,
they’re a figment of the imagination to justify the
assholes’ failure to score. |
|
 
| Humor
& Fiction |
Date: 7/17/2002 7:24pm |
Name: saxbeat |
| Subject:
RE: While nondescriptive subjects are more likely to be
blew |
[saibaba-->
<snip>
[Ten4]--> <snip>
[saxbeat]--> Wow, Ten4, that was a great analysis --
ZBone HOF material -- but I think you are missing one
more type... the rarest, most complex, and by far, more
interesting:
The Sexlover. This may be the rarest type of
dancer, but they are out there. These are simply women
who love sex, eroticism, and adventure. They look at
dancing as "fun." They recoil at the notion
that they were Abused Teens. They avoid the Party Girls
for being bad influences and annoying at best, or just
plain dangerous at worst. But they don't take dancing,
money, or at least, working in a club, seriously enough
to become Pro Dancers. Sexlovers are almost like Pro
Dancers in terms of reliability, etc., but the
difference is, they are relaxed and not
"hard."
Some Sexlovers pride themselves on being Sex Workers.
They join unions and donate to COYOTE. Some become
courtesans. I've met a couple who were actively seeking
to be mistresses or kept women. They take an almost
academic approach to explaining their career choice, but
the academic explanations belie their voracious
sexuality and almost compulsive knowledge of historical
sexual morés and worldwide sexual technique. They quote
Henry Miller and toss around the names of Kama Sutra
positions as if they were astrological signs.
Sociopolitically, they often fall into the riotgrrl
party, or perhaps Libertarian, or neo-feminist. They may
be active in fempower and stripper power discussion
boards. They write masters' theses, articles, books and
long, long e-mails about stripping, any of which can
blow away all your supposed knowledge of stripping (and
perhaps a good chunk of your self-esteem) with one flip
sentence.
Sexlovers may actually have been Party Girls earlier in
their lives, but their good upbringing, decent education
and just plain heart and soul saved them from a life of
indulgent excess. They have learned how to manage, and
may even live normal lives in addition to their dancing.
They are "salt of the earth" people.
It is difficult to categorize Sexlovers into neat little
stereotypes like this, because truth be told, other than
their love of sex, they are very individual and
different. They may love surfing, they may love
intellectual pursuits. They may be cooks, or musicians,
or writers, or housewives. However, as highly sexed as
they may be, don't count on them being nymphos -- they
may have gone through that phase, before their
considerable self-esteem kicked in, but no more. And
besides, they are as much into quality as quantity...
(though preferably, they want both). Interestingly, the
other asset I've discovered in the Sexlovers I've known
is an implicit and direct honesty. They are beyond
bullshitting and lying, almost to a fault, and they
don't tolerate it in anyone. They have a powerful
BS-meter, and it is set to STUN. Sweet as they tend to
be, I think that may be their strongest defense
mechanism against the guys who would exploit them, and
it is the thing that puts them most at odds with working
in a club.
Unlike the other dancer types, Sexlovers may date,
befriend, and even marry a customer. (I've known at
least four who have done so.) They are very rational
women though, and will only do it if they think the guy
is "right" in a way that goes way beyond
having the normal "Mr. Right" qualities.
Sometimes, the guy is "right" because he will
tolerate or even encourage her continued dancing.
Sometimes, he is right because she wants to quit
dancing, and may do so in the comfort of knowing he
alone will satisfy her sexual exploration. Despite her
openness and honesty though, most guys can't handle a
Sexlover. Perhaps because of her openness and honesty.
For jaded, old, perverted -- yet discriminating -- fucks
like myself, the Sexlover is what makes all clubbing
worthwhile. As dancers, they are exceptional. They may
actually study dance or yoga to improve their stage
show. They are awesome in the booth, with a deep
understanding of what makes men tick. And they are fun
to chat with in or out of the club. They love their
jobs, and they instinctively avoid assholes, so even
after 5-10 years of dancing, they are pleasant to sit
with. For those of us who aren't looking for love or sex
in a club, Sexlovers make great clubbing companions and
even friends. They won't call you at 2am. They won't
flash a crowd from the passenger seat of your
convertible when you are driving through Old Town. (In
fact, they often consider themselves shy and
introverted, though they are only so in comparison to
the Party Girls they work with.  ) They
don't play stupid power games. And they are always
working on some cool new side project that is far more
interesting on anything you are doing.
The only problem with Sexlovers is that every pathetic
dweeb looking to date a dancer thinks the girl he likes
is one of them. Experienced Pro Dancers have even been
known to try and pretend to be Sexlovers, but in
reality, they usually either don't really care enough or
don't have the intellectual depth. The difference
between a Pro Dancer and a Sexlover is a Pro Dancer
doesn't want to discuss Anais Nin with you after a
lapdance. The Sexlover is the Grail of the pathetic
dweeb. And every pathetic dweeb thinks he is the guy
that will satisfy her and rock her world, and keep her
happy. And usually, the PD is wrong, about the girl,
about himself, and about just about everything else.
And the worst of it is, even when a PD actually finds a
Sexlover, and they hit it off, he is likely to ruin it
with a judgemental remark, a condescending attitude, or
his own sad little insecurities.
God bless the Sexlovers!
sax "Sexlover trapped in a man's body" beat
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