Everyone always
asks, "What is high mileage?" A lot of times on this
board, a guy will talk about a high-mileage dancer, and some
guy will say, "You must be kidding! She's as low mileage
as it gets!!!"
Here are my proposed objective definitions for mileage:
No mileage = Air dance. No contact at all. Can still be
pleasant with a girl with a good attitude, good looks and a
sexy, playful persona. Sort of like playing doctor with the
cute girl next door.
Low mileage = Minimal contact. Not enough to give you a
woody, and certainly not enough to make you splooge. Can be
very pleasant with a girl with a good attitude, good looks and
a sexy, playful persona.... sort of like a high school tease,
or a little dry hump in the hall after science class.
Okay mileage = Good contact, definitely enough to give
you a woody, perhaps enough to make you splooge if you close
your eyes, use your imagination and get enough dances. Sort of
like sex in college with a girl who is trying to be good.
High mileage = Great contact, great grind, you're
sportin' wood practically before the song starts. Making you
splooge is the obvious intent of the dancer. You'll be lucky
if you can last three songs. Sort of like sex in your second
year of marriage if you wed the right girl.
Very high mileage = Willy is freed. There is
skin-to-skin contact of some sort or another in your genital
arena (misspelling intentional  ). If LE walks in now,
you're probably going to have to register as an SO. Sort of
like sex in your fifth year of marriage... with someone other
than your wife.
Full mileage = The Deed. Beyond mileage. 'Nuff said.
Sort of like sex in a porno flick... You will feel dirty
afterwards.
Notice there is nothing here about being able to touch the
dancer. That's because it doesn't matter. Just because some
skank lets you grab her boobies or finger her love box doesn't
mean that you are getting mileage... she is! Stop being such
an Alda and tell the beotch to serve your needs, you wimp...
Just kidding.
Sax "On Blocks" beat
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