Alisha Klass

July 2001

Many of you have probably noticed that there has not been a feature review since 1997. This was because I got pretty jaded and most features in LA are simply boring because of the strict laws.

But that was then, this is now. The feature that has brought LA into the new millennium has arrived and her name is Alisha Klass. Her performance style reminds me of the good old days of features in San Francisco and New York before it all came crashing down.

I was late arriving at the Spearmint Rhino in downtown but knowing how features are, I wasn't worried. Sure enough, she was a no-show for the 8pm show but her 10pm show was well worth the wait. I have to confess, it was such a great show, I waited for the midnight show as well.

The club itself is relatively small for a club with a feature and it was not crowded. Since the opening of this club, they have added a separate dressing room for the feature outside in the parking lot. The feature enters from the side exit door. Alisha walks into the club dressed as a female cop with the standard cop equipment, including handcuffs and the DJ plays "Bad Boys" by Inner Circle (the music for "Cops"). Alisha walks around the club interacting with the customers, doing mini-laps and showing off her costume.

Alisha eventually gets on the stage and out comes the now infamous lollipops. She is in a indie movie called "Center of the World" in which she uses the same prop. The lollipops are inserted and then placed in the mouths of the audience who now seem to be very hungry for them. One guy could not seem to get it into his mouth when Alisha kept teasing him with it.

Once the costume comes off, the real show begins. From what I can tell, she improvises her show depending on the audience and props that are available at the stage. During the first show, she took a guy's near-beer bottle and sat on it, really deep. She then laid down and worked it to a fever frenzy pace where the beer was squirting out everywhere. People sitting at the stage got some free beer and then some. She was considerate enough to rotate 360 degrees during the spraying to make sure everyone could see. During the second show, she used 3 bottles of water that happened to be available on stage. She basically took a shower on stage and got her hair wet and everything got put in it's proper place. Let's just say, everything got really, really wet.

During the first show, she pointed to one of the female customers sitting at the stage and motioned her to join her on stage. She started to stand up, but then her boyfriend told her to sit down. Not to be rejected, Alisha pointed to another girl sitting at the stage who was tipping a lot, along with her boyfriend. She was more than happy to jump on the stage. They started to kiss passionately and the audience went wild. More groping, fondling and when Alisha started to lift the girl's dress up, more noise from the audience. I could tell that Alisha was asking the girl if she wanted to take her clothes off and apparently, the answer was affirmative because everything came off quickly soon after.

Now with both being naked on stage, Alisha knelt down and did her proper duties and you could tell the girl was ecstatic and almost looked like she was going to fall down. After more rubbing and fondling, Alisha asked the girl to lie down and before she was even all the way down, so was Alisha. At this point, the audience is so loud, you can't hear the DJ. I couldn't tell you what music was playing, or if there was any music. Alisha asks the girl a question, and we're all hoping she says yes to whatever it is. Alisha inserts two inside and her movements become more and more rapid and you can see the girl almost fainting with excitement. I think being naked on stage was probably contributing to her excitement. When it was all said and done, the girl seemed a little disoriented but happy.

At the second show, Alisha showed off her own abilities by inserting not one, not two, not three, not four, but all and in multiple positions at that. This, combined with the water and other bodily fluids flowing everywhere, made this one of the best shows I've seen, and easily the best show I've seen in Los Angeles.

One last thing I want to mention was what she did at the end of each show. She walked around the entire stage shaking every single persons' hand. Then she told the DJ to turn down the music and thanked everyone for coming. She sure knows how to handle her fans. She can add me to that list.

SUMMARY:
Even if you live in a conservative city, give her a try. I'm sure you'll get a show that you won't get from anybody else. If you live anywhere else, she is a must see. I highly recommend her show to anyone who enjoys this type of entertainment. You don't see me saying that too often. Thank you Miss Klass for reminding me why I go to see features.

The new standard. Highly recommended.